Seeing some progress

I have been very disciplined this month and have been trying to adopt a more consistently zen-like approach to my workouts and weight loss.  I say "trying" because I am more zen-like on some days than others.

On the plus side, I have virtually entirely stopped unrecorded snacking, and where/when I do snack, it is generally in moderation and within plan.  That's a huge win for me after the unbridled snacking I did in December. 

I have also been very disciplined with my workouts, doing my combination of HIIT elliptical sessions with longer "straight" elliptical workouts after my weekly sessions with Mr. Fitness (the personal trainer). I have also been doing a second weight session on my own, using the workouts Mr. Fitness has set up for me.  I am sure that I don't push myself quite as hard when it is just me, but I am pushing enough that I feel it the next day, which is a good thing.

All of this hard work is gradually paying results.  I am definitely seeing some improvement to my overall tone, and I can't wait until next week when I do my month-end measurements again.  I am certain that I will have continued to lose inches, because it's visible even to me.  My shoulders, stomach and legs in particular have been noticeably more toned recently.  Yippee!

I am also seeing definite improvements in my strength and stamina as well as my balance and coordination.  The first time Mr. Fitness and I worked together I kept falling over and lurching into things when he wanted me to stand on one foot or balance a particular way.  Don't get me wrong - - I still lurch and look as coordinated as a Clydesdale on ice many times - - but I am ever so slowly seeing improvement.  I only lurch around and stumble every second time now, rather than every single time.

One thing I have really noticed recently is how dramatically weaker my left arm is than my right due to the carpal tunnel on that side.  We were doing "21s" (bicep curls in 3x7-count variations) during my last session with Mr. Fitness, and on the full bicep curls I could barely raise the dumbbell with my left arm.  The right arm - - no problem.  The left - - weak as a noodle.  This is very frustrating, but apparently not uncommon.

Although the workouts have been going well, it has been challenging to keep my positive attitude when the weight loss has come so slowly.  I saw the usual "Ladytime" gain of 3 pounds of water and bloating at the usual time of month, and it took me 2 weeks of rigid discipline and fierce determination to get those pounds off and to see even trivial net losses.  Given how disciplined I have been with my food consumption and how hard I was working out, I find it difficult to keep from getting frustrated at times when the scale resolutely sticks above where I want it - - even when I know that the scale will come down eventually. 

But come down, the weight has, bit by bit.  I really don't mind if the weight comes off slowly or even plateaus if my measurements are changing, because I know that Mr. Fitness is helping me to develop my muscle tone and strength.  But until the end of the month I will not have definitive proof, so I will just have to be patient and keep plugging away.

On a related note, Mr. Fitness was like a kid in a candy store when he saw all my new workout equipment, and he immediately began integrating it into our sessions.  Now that was motivating!  Not to mention fun - - some of the things we do don't even feel like working out (like a lot of the medicine ball work we do), but I know they're doing good things.  That is a bonus I had not anticipated.  The gym equipment and the investment in a personal trainer has been worth every dollar to me, because I am doing things I never thought possible thanks to the structured and supervised workouts with the weights.  90 pound bench press?  Never thought I would do that.  80 pound deadlift?  Not a problem, as it happens.  And I am only going to get stronger from here.  I like that.  Scratch that.  I love that. 

So the net of it is that I can't wait to measure myself this week so I can get some positive reinforcement for all my hard work.  But I like what I am seeing so far, and I can't wait to see where I will go with this. 

My aging rock icon and his views on working out

Photo by: http://www.slidebite.com/Maura Lanahan

Henry Rollins describes himself in his spoken word performances as an "aging rock icon".  I describe him as my "rock star boyfriend" (even though he is no longer a rock star and he is in no way my boyfriend).  The Nerd understands, and approves.  Hank is no threat to the Nerd. 

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Mr. Rollins, he was a singer with Black Flag, and then with the Rollins Band.  He is also a gifted writer, speaker, radio host, and humanitarian.  Back in 2003 he began touring with the USO and visiting military hospitals to cheer injured - sometimes heartbreakingly injured - veterans.  His stories about some of his visits to hospitals are some of the most moving stories of the human spirit I have ever heard.  Many of Rollins' spoken word performances are available on CD or streaming on the internet.  If you haven't heard Rollins perform, I commend him to you. 

I became exposed to Henry Rollins through the Nerd, who took me to one of Rollins' spoken word shows at Convocation Hall.  Rollins came on stage in a black t-shirt and grey slacks, took a sip of water, wrapped the mic cord around his hand a few times, and he was off.  He didn't stop speaking for more than an hour or so, and I was captivated, on the edge of my seat for the entire time.  Rollins was high energy, well spoken, extremely well read and informed, and his charisma - - well, he did not inherit the "rock star boyfriend" label from nowhere, I tell you what.

I have since seen several of Rollins shows (the most memorable being the one with the Nerd and his mother at Ohio State University), and although Rollins' stories vary, the messages are usually the same.  Be interested in the world.  Be a better person.  Help people.  Be informed.  Be passionate.  Don't take yourself so seriously.  Don't be a dick. 

One of his stories that really resonated with me years ago was his story about The Iron.  I will not do it justice with my paraphrasing, trust me, so you should read it yourself at <www.oldtimestrongman.com/strength-articles/iron-henry-rollins>.  Go read it now.  I'll wait.

The Iron is Rollins' story of how he first began working out, under the not-so-gentle tutelage of his advisor, Mr. Pepperman.  Mr. Pepperman told Rollins to buy weights and what to do with them.  Rollins was to work out with his weight and get stronger, and occasionally Mr. Pepperman would punch Rollins in the solar plexus, just to see how he was progressing: "When I could take the punch we would know that we were getting somewhere."

The long and the short of it is that Rollins eventually shrugged off a punch with a laugh, and along the way learned many valuable lessons about himself, and about perseverance, and about weight lifting.  As Rollins says, much more eloquently than I: "It wasn't until my late twenties that I learned that by working out I had given myself a great gift. I learned that nothing good comes without work and a certain amount of pain. When I finish a set that leaves me shaking, I know more about myself. When something gets bad, I know it can't be as bad as that workout."

In a nutshell, everything worth doing comes with a certain amount of suffering.  It takes work.  You're not going to want to do it at times.  But you should - - it will center you and keep you grounded.  And strength leads to confidence which leads to the strength to do wonderful things - - for yourself, and for other people.

I try to live up to Rollins' message.   I push myself to be stronger, to be more disciplined, to be a better person.  I try and push myself to do more each week.  When I feel like staying in bed and skipping a workout (like this morning), I think about Rollins and how he would kick my ass for even entertaining the thought of missing a workout.  There is, after all, no growth through comfort: "When the Iron doesn't want to come off the mat, it's the kindest thing it can do for you. If it flew up and went through the ceiling, it wouldn't teach you anything."  I want to be taught.  I want to learn.  I want to grow, and to be strong.


"Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds."  Ain't that the truth.