Seeing some progress

I have been very disciplined this month and have been trying to adopt a more consistently zen-like approach to my workouts and weight loss.  I say "trying" because I am more zen-like on some days than others.

On the plus side, I have virtually entirely stopped unrecorded snacking, and where/when I do snack, it is generally in moderation and within plan.  That's a huge win for me after the unbridled snacking I did in December. 

I have also been very disciplined with my workouts, doing my combination of HIIT elliptical sessions with longer "straight" elliptical workouts after my weekly sessions with Mr. Fitness (the personal trainer). I have also been doing a second weight session on my own, using the workouts Mr. Fitness has set up for me.  I am sure that I don't push myself quite as hard when it is just me, but I am pushing enough that I feel it the next day, which is a good thing.

All of this hard work is gradually paying results.  I am definitely seeing some improvement to my overall tone, and I can't wait until next week when I do my month-end measurements again.  I am certain that I will have continued to lose inches, because it's visible even to me.  My shoulders, stomach and legs in particular have been noticeably more toned recently.  Yippee!

I am also seeing definite improvements in my strength and stamina as well as my balance and coordination.  The first time Mr. Fitness and I worked together I kept falling over and lurching into things when he wanted me to stand on one foot or balance a particular way.  Don't get me wrong - - I still lurch and look as coordinated as a Clydesdale on ice many times - - but I am ever so slowly seeing improvement.  I only lurch around and stumble every second time now, rather than every single time.

One thing I have really noticed recently is how dramatically weaker my left arm is than my right due to the carpal tunnel on that side.  We were doing "21s" (bicep curls in 3x7-count variations) during my last session with Mr. Fitness, and on the full bicep curls I could barely raise the dumbbell with my left arm.  The right arm - - no problem.  The left - - weak as a noodle.  This is very frustrating, but apparently not uncommon.

Although the workouts have been going well, it has been challenging to keep my positive attitude when the weight loss has come so slowly.  I saw the usual "Ladytime" gain of 3 pounds of water and bloating at the usual time of month, and it took me 2 weeks of rigid discipline and fierce determination to get those pounds off and to see even trivial net losses.  Given how disciplined I have been with my food consumption and how hard I was working out, I find it difficult to keep from getting frustrated at times when the scale resolutely sticks above where I want it - - even when I know that the scale will come down eventually. 

But come down, the weight has, bit by bit.  I really don't mind if the weight comes off slowly or even plateaus if my measurements are changing, because I know that Mr. Fitness is helping me to develop my muscle tone and strength.  But until the end of the month I will not have definitive proof, so I will just have to be patient and keep plugging away.

On a related note, Mr. Fitness was like a kid in a candy store when he saw all my new workout equipment, and he immediately began integrating it into our sessions.  Now that was motivating!  Not to mention fun - - some of the things we do don't even feel like working out (like a lot of the medicine ball work we do), but I know they're doing good things.  That is a bonus I had not anticipated.  The gym equipment and the investment in a personal trainer has been worth every dollar to me, because I am doing things I never thought possible thanks to the structured and supervised workouts with the weights.  90 pound bench press?  Never thought I would do that.  80 pound deadlift?  Not a problem, as it happens.  And I am only going to get stronger from here.  I like that.  Scratch that.  I love that. 

So the net of it is that I can't wait to measure myself this week so I can get some positive reinforcement for all my hard work.  But I like what I am seeing so far, and I can't wait to see where I will go with this. 

Some emotional eating ... and right back on track

The pop factory laid off about 1,800 people over the past two weeks (worldwide), which seemed like an awful lot of people lost their jobs until Target Canada announced last week that they were closing and throwing 18,000 people out onto the street.  Suddenly 1,800 sounded almost reasonable, even though 1,800 is a very high number in and of itself.  Regardless of the scale, restructurings of any kind are scary as hell and very tough - - they are distracting and take focus off the work that needs to get done.  And given that I just started at the pop factory in the spring of 2014, I was feeling especially vulnerable this time.

I found out that I still had a job on Thursday January 8 (!), and for the entire week leading up to that day I had been emotionally eating in a way that was a borderline (if not outright) binge.  I found myself eating candy at the office and I was almost unable to stop.  It was ridiculous, frankly.  Thank god we found out about our department when we did, because another week of that behaviour would have been very tough to recover from. 

Unfortunately, one of my team mates (and close neighbors on the seating plan) lost her job in the restructuring, so our team did not escape Scot-free.  With her obvious (and profound) distress at losing her job I felt no small amount of survivor guilt, but fortunately I was able to deal with that without eating my way into a food coma.  Because the impact was no longer directly on me, I was able to approach it less emotionally than when I thought I might lose my job and chocolate was my crutch.  Once the restructuring happened I could be supportive for my friend but I did not need chocolate to do so.

One good thing about that day (and frankly about the only good thing about that day) was that I had an absolutely brutal high intensity interval conditioning session with Mr. Fitness that evening, and it was the perfect way to work through all my stress and anxiety about what had just happened.  All those times I doubted whether workouts help with stress are now officially put to rest.  After the workout I was shaking with exhaustion, dripping with sweat, aching, and content, if you can believe it. The more I work out with the trainer the more I enjoy it, because he pushes me during every session.  I know I will see results from this work because there is no way that my body can get used to anything - - as soon as I think it is getting easier, Mr. Fitness adds new elements to kick up the program.  Bastard (just kidding - Mr. Fitness is a lovely man and I am pretty sure his parents were married).

Another good thing about that week is that even though my mouth would not stay shut (!), I was working out hard every day.  Even better, the day after the restructuring I was suddenly and completely able to ignore all temptation or desire to snack.  It was as if a switch had flipped in my head.  The firings were over, I still had my job, and it was time to take care of business.  My brain literally got back in gear and I was immediately focused on healthy eating and my workouts.  And I haven't had any overwhelming desire to snack since.  Strange.

The net result: I put on several pounds the week of the restructuring.  After a couple of sessions with my personal trainer and two weeks of consistent hard workouts, I am now back down to a weight that is 2.7 pounds lower than before the restructuring.  I am still about 10 or 11 pounds higher than my lowest recent weight (before Christmas), but I am on a great program right now that is pushing me and I am staying on track much more than I am off plan. 

I find that  being able to track my workouts (both alone and with the personal trainer) on the Trainerize web app is very motivating, and this has especially helped me keep on track over the past couple of challenging weeks.

I have always loved tracking my workouts and my progress, and this program combines both of these things together.  Mr. Fitness accesses the interface to check on my progress, and he absolutely knows when I have been following the program and when I have been doing the workouts he set up for me.  I like this because it helps keep me accountable. 

And because the trainer knows when I have done a workout and what I have done, he knows when and how to bump up the next workout.  For example this week in my "push" conditioning session we added dips and incline bench presses.  It turns out I absolutely suck at dips, but next time I try them I will be better.  My squats were better this week than last week, and they will be even better next week.  Progress. 

I am travelling and at offsites most of this coming week, so it will be a very trying week that will challenge my discipline.  Monday will be back to back meetings followed by 2 days in senior leadership meetings with an obligatory evening dinner/event, then a full day planning meeting, then travelling to Boston and Hartford to visit a couple of our production facilities from Friday to the following Tuesday.  On the next day I have to spend the day in London Ontario teaching a class at the law school - - including an obligatory lunch with the other teachers. 

So it looks like a week and a half of hotel food, restaurant food, conference meals, and (hopefully) hotel gyms.  It looks like I will not be able to meet with the personal trainer this week due to the schedule from hell, but at least I can keep up on my program using hotel facilities as much as I can. 

Personal trainers work in a variety of ways...

As you know, I have been working with a personal trainer (aka "Mr. Fitness") since shortly before Christmas.  Although Mr. Fitness is a trained homeopath, that's not really my thing and I am working with him solely for the personal training.  This has been good for me on a variety of levels.

First and foremost, Mr. Fitness is kicking my ass.  So far he has set up a "pull" workout and a "push" workout, and he has hinted at an "absolutely killer conditioning workout" for next week [sidebar: I really need to teach Mr. Fitness about foreshadowing].  Each of the workouts have pushed me physically to the point where I feel their effects for a couple of days.  I am using new equipment (like my new kettle bells) and using some of my old equipment (like my balance ball) in new ways. 

He is also teaching me proper technique, something I have been lacking in my solo workouts, and he has introduced me to high intensity interval training, which I had never tried before.  At the very least he has shaken me out of my routine and taught me new skills, which can only benefit me in the long term.

But there's another benefit to hiring a trainer - - accountability.  Mr. Fitness has set up my routines in a convenient app and web interface called Trainerize, and I can not only see what I am doing at a glance, so can Mr. Fitness.  Knowing that Mr. Fitness will know if I have been skipping workouts motivates me to do workouts when I would otherwise be tempted to shirk. 

This is the toughest time - - after I am getting back into things, but with the sodium and bad habit hangovers from the holidays still lingering.  My work routine has been irregular too with the holidays, which doesn't help.  Things are slowly getting back to normal, and by the end of next week I will be back into a more comfortable rhythm.  Hopefully...!

But for now things are still a challenge, and it is a battle of wills not to snack all day every day, and to get my workouts done (especially if I don't do them first thing in the morning).  Having accountability to an external source like Mr. Fitness helps me to be more accountable to myself. 

Today is a classic example.  The Nerd and I got up early thinking that we would have to drive out of town to bring fish from the Market to the Matriarch, who has been unable to come downtown for several weeks.  Because a storm was forecast, we didn't want to linger but rather get a head start, so I did not work out as soon as I got up (which is my usual pattern).  As it happens the Market was closed (d'oh!), so the shopping trip and visit was cancelled.  And there was me with no workout...

What to do, what to do?  Recently it has been simply too easy to let things slide, skip the workout and try and eat below my calorie limit.  There's nothing inherently wrong in that, but it undermines the discipline of the routine that I am trying to re-establish, because the routine involves regular workouts. 

I was still struggling with this moral dilemma when I remembered that Mr. Fitness sees when I check in on the Trainerize interface.  Whups!  Time to get on the elliptical and bang out a HIIT cardio workout.  So I did that, and now I feel great for having worked out.  Moral dilemma resolved.

Week 1 of the new routine is in the books, and I am shedding the water weight from all the sodium I consumed over the holidays. 

Future weeks will not show such dramatic losses, but it's gratifying to get this jump start regardless.

I took my measurements last week when I was starting out, and I also took another set of photos, but since it has only been a week there is really nothing to see in the way of difference yet.  We'll see where things stand after a full month of Mr. Fitness kicking my ass - - what is left of it!

Walking works...134.8 pounds down

It has been a while since I have posted, mostly because my routine has been quite uneventful, mostly.  The Nerd and I have continued on our training plan for the Weekend to End Women's Cancers charity walk coming up in 23 days, and I have been trying (and for the most part, succeeding) to eat well and avoid snacking. 


The net of all this activity is that I am down another 2.5 pounds since my last weigh-in, for a total of 134.8 pounds down.  This brings me back down below 200 pounds once again to 199.1 pounds.  Yay, me!  Since I have started my new job I am down 14.5 pounds, which tells you something about the health benefits of working for a major beverage manufacturer.

I am really really really trying to be patient and sensible with my program and to not get too hung up on the scale or the calendar.  Lifestyle change is supposed to cover the rest of one's life, after all, so there's no real rush to lose weight. 


For all that zen-like attitude, however, it's still very gratifying and reassuring to see that when I do the things that have worked in the past - like strong workouts and consistently eating fewer calories than I burn (including not eating back all my workout calories) - I eventually lose weight.  I am trying to be more patient with this and let my body take off the weight on its own schedule (rather than my own mental timetable), but it can be frustrating. Patience is not my strong suit.  Neither is impulse control, so you can see what I am up against here.


All in all, though, my walking workouts have been doing the trick.  On non-walking days I do weights and the elliptical, and that seems to be keeping the weight headed in the right direction.  That, and the cutting back on snacking, of course. 

Speaking of walking, the Nerd and I hit our first "official" 12.5 mile (20 km) walk last weekend.  As you might remember, the first time I tried to walk 12.5 miles (after accidentally working the training plan backwards (!)), I was in agony for the last 4.5 miles.  The following weekend when I walked 12.5 miles I was only very sore for the last mile and a half, and in agony for the last half mile - - a big improvement.  You can imagine my trepidation, though, at trying that distance against last weekend.  Would it be like the first time, or would it be more like our recent walks, tiring but manageable?

And the answer is: tiring but manageable!  What a win! 

Sunrise in the Beach, August 2014

We were walking back to those tall buildings way off in the distance...

... and actually almost pleasant.  Note that I said "almost".  It was still 3 hours and 40 minutes of walking to hit 12.5 miles, but by keeping the pace to a relatively sedate 3.5 mph I was able to get through the walk with energy to spare.  Not only that, I was able to go out shopping with my mom shortly after getting home, and had no problems wandering around the Market. 

I felt very tired after this walk, but not as tired as I expected, and aside from a little chaffing in the bra area, I made it through the walk without any physical discomfort. 

Here's all of the walks we have done so far in August:

The big red line heading out to the right is our 12.5 mile walk along Queen Street until the Neville Park streetcar turnaround, then back along the waterfront trail to the Market neighborhood.  We've also got a few of our favourite walks up and down Church Street and around the Bloor/Broadview loop overlooking the Don Valley (very pretty, if one ignores the highway, prison, and defunct strip club). 

Don't tell anyone, but I am actually quite enjoying our walking training and will miss it when we are not doing so many walks once the event is over.  Perhaps I will even keep going on walks after the charity walk, provided that I can trick the Nerd into joining me.  I probably won't do any more 12.5 mile walks, though. 

Today we had a fire drill at the office, and I had fun walking up and down 4 flights of stairs with my knapsack full of purse debris and my computer bag.  Actually, I did have fun - - it was a nice break from routine, and I had no problem going down the stairs or even back up, despite all my gear.  It's at times like this that I am reminded of how far I have come, and I cherish my increasing levels of fitness even more. 

Tomorrow is another weight + elliptical day, since we are done our walks until another 12.5 miler on Saturday.  Better rest up the old feet while I can!

132.3 pounds down - and another size

It's the beginning of a new month and you know what that means - - summary time!

As you know I have been working out and trying to eat better for about the last two months or so (coincidentally right around the time that I started my fabulous new job).  At the end of June I saw some positive results, but July was really the first full month back on the program.  The program is a bit different than before - - with the training we have been doing for the Weekend to End Women's Cancers 32 km charity walk on September 6, my workouts have shifted from mostly elliptical workouts with some weights to mostly walking outside, with weights and elliptical thrown in on non-walking days. 

I could tell I was doing a lot of walking, because I finished the month at #65 on the total list of steps taken for the Redditors who Fitbit group, out of more than 1,000 people.  That's right, yours truly was in the top 10% of all Redditors who Fitbit according to my steps taken.  Go me!  If you want to friend me on Fitbit I am user #22LQKV.

I was very curious to see the results of all that walking, and the results are now in. 

As for my weight, I lost 12 pounds in July, for a total of 132.3 pounds lost overall.  I am still chipping away at the weight that I had gained as a result of my uncontrolled emotional binge eating during my job search and job change, but I am very happy with my progress now that I have gotten back into my healthy routine.

Put simply, all of the emotional eating and slacking off put me behind by about a full year in that I was around my current weight about this time last year.  And you know what?  That's OK.  I am not in a time-limited contest to beat anyone to a healthy weight, and as long as I am making progress in either my eating habits or my workouts I am not going to beat myself up for past poor decisions.

It's not that the past is past, it's that belabouring past errors doesn't accomplish anything and it only serves to frustrate me in the here and now.  Instead of focusing on that big leap from 185 pounds to 213+ pounds and how fast I can get back down to 185, I am focusing on the steady whittling down from 213+ pounds to where I am now, at 201.6 pounds.   I am not as focused this year about how quickly I can lose the weight since I have found that for me, that leads to unhealthy obsessiveness and general discontent about how slowly the weight comes off.  Rather, I try and make better decisions each day and look to see the weight come off in its own time.  Very zen of me, I know.  I am more and less successful at this kind of laissez-faire attitude depending on the day, but overall I am better at being patient than I was last year, so I will take this as a win.

This time around I try and celebrate the wins more and don't obsess over the minor gains if I am generally sticking to my plan.  As a result, my attitude is much more positive overall, and I feel better about myself and am generally very content with my renewed progress to date.

The measurements show the progress I have made since my May-June reboot (all measurements in inches):

I am not as focused on hitting a particular size as I am to see the positive changes in my body, however going down a size or two, as I have, is still very motivating.  Everything is coming down with the walks, except my calves.  Sheesh - - my Little Lulu cankles are destined to stay with me forever, alas. 

I am pleased to see the measurements come down to a proper size 14, which is well within the zone of being able to shop anywhere I want.  I suspect that my body is actually built to be a natural 14, even though according to my measurements I have gone down to a 12 or even a 10 in some styles (last year, before eating my way back to a 16-18).  Right now I am not going to fuss too much about the sizes and just pay attention to my body and try and wear things that are comfortable regardless of their size.  I tend to favour slightly larger size shorts, jeans and skirts, given that I have a decent badonkadonk, while I can wear smaller sweaters now that the girls are smaller.  Yes, I understand that the previous sentence is full of colourful metaphors for various parts of my anatomy - - deal with it. 

The Nerd and I went down to Columbus Ohio this weekend to visit his parents in their new home.  I spent a lot of time trying to be sensible in the face of all the delicious food - - his family has a delightful tradition of pre-dinner cocktails (complete with snacks) and it is all too easy to eat 300-400 calories just in rye and crackers and cheese and hummus and veggies before the meal even starts.  Yum!  I also tried to make a point of drinking lots of water, since I find that generally American food is higher in sodium than the Nerd and I are used to consuming in the average day.

On a side note, I discovered that I am a rye snob, because our "well" rye at home is Crown Royal, while our "nice" rye is s special edition Crown Royal.  Apparently normal people consider Crown Royal to be their upmarket rye, so it turns out that I have been very spoiled in the Canadian Whiskey department. 

Although the Nerd's mom does engage in short post-meal walks, they are nothing like the multi-mile marches that the Nerd and I have been doing as part of training for our big walk.  But at least it was some physical activity while we were visiting, which is better than sitting on my butt for the entire time.  I remember when I couldn't keep up with the Nerd's parents on their walks, and now I find them to be more of a stroll than a proper walk - - how times have changed!  All in all, it was a wonderful visit and I can't wait to go back.

Speaking of training walks, here is a map of where we have been walking so far, with the coloured lines indicating our walks:

A few points of note regarding the above map.  First, the big triangle is not where the Nerd and I discovered the power of flight, but it is where the GPS extrapolated the subway ride we took from Lawrence West subway station back downtown to finish off one of our walks. 

We also did one walk in which we drove out to the Leslie and Lawrence East area to walk through one of Toronto's many park systems.  You can see this 3.75 mile loop (for 7.5 miles total) all by itself in the top right hand side of the map.  Interestingly, we did another 5.5 mile walk up the Don Valley trail (for an 11 mile round trip) last weekend, and we almost met up with the southern end of our previous park walk.  Perhaps next weekend we will close the loop, as we have a 12.5 mile walk on the schedule for Saturday morning. 

On an personal note, I felt absolutely fine after our 11 mile walk - - a little tired, but in no obvious discomfort.  This is a big improvement over our last 12.5 mile walks and shows the benefit of doing the training plan the right way around. (!)




Finally, I am not sure if I have officially debuted my haircut, which I got just before the third interview for my current job.  I decided that growing out curly hair is just too frustrating, so I went short, as can be seen in this photo of me and my sister from her birthday in June:

I'm the one on the right

When telling each other about the dresses we were wearing we initially thought we had brought the same dress for dinner out, but we were both simply au courant with the current black and white trend.   

August has more of the same on tap - - the Nerd and I will continue our training walks, and expect to walk around 26 miles a week for the next couple of weeks, in preparation for the big charity walk at the beginning of September.  I will try and keep integrating free weights into my workouts 2-3 times a week, keeping the recent additions of reverse crunches and standing calf raises.  And of course, there's the old standby of the elliptical for those days when walks are not planned. 

Working out with a cold is just as much fun as you would expect...

Photo courtesy Tallasiandude, licensed CC-BY-NC-SA

... that is, not at all fun.

In the spirit of starting fresh (yes, I know, starting fresh again - luckily there's no limit to picking yourself up and dusting yourself off), I dragged myself out of my sickbed this morning and did a workout.

Not the full amazon-woman type workout that is my custom on normal days, but a pitiful workout suitable for the phlegmatic.  Tee hee - "phlegmatic".  See what I did there?

I still have coughing fits and cannot breathe through my nose, and I was concerned that a workout, even a short workout, would be too stressful in my weakened condition.  So in a rare burst of sensible thinking, I did an easy workout of 30 minutes' walking on the treadmill at 3 mph, with a brief 10 minute elliptical session at the end with the usual tension and stride rate.  My big concern was overdoing it so that I would end up more compromised than before, and unable to stop coughing. 

I found the elliptical more physically challenging than the treadmill, and even this brief 40 minute workout was enough to exhaust me.  But I experienced only mild coughing, easily controlled - - no massive coughing fits.  I felt good having done a workout after a few days off, and I know that I should feel 100% better tomorrow.  That's the way these colds are.

I also measured myself this morning, to set the new baseline.  I had previously been taking my measurements each month, but once the weight started going back on (due to my unbridled snacking and binge eating), my dimensions ballooned up and I felt terrible looking at the tape measure each month.  Enough of that crap - - today sets the new high water mark, and each month I will be able to track progress again as I maintain my program. 

Why does this matter?  I realized over the past few days how much I need the positive reinforcement of my tracking graphs and logging.  Keeping a record of things and seeing linear progress helps me stay motivated and on track.  Just hopping on the scale and seeing a number without logging it is somehow less empowering for me, even if that number is lower than the number before.  It turns out I need to track my progress to help me keep seeing progress - - no tracking, and I find it simply too easy to cheat on the food, and ease up on the workouts.  When I track and I feel the desire to cheat, I can look back at my progress graphs and see all the good work I have done memorialized there, and it helps me stay on plan.

Enough is enough.  I have started fresh as if this is the weight I have had to lose all along.  No more coasting on my past successes.  I know my plan works when I stick to it, so I am just going to hold myself accountable and track as much as I did before so that I get those positive bumps when I see progress.  Give me 6 months, and let's see where things shake out. 

But yeah, colds suck.  I hate that I have 16 sinuses in my head, every one of which is full of phlegm.  And my lungs are full of junk as well - - I feel like I am breathing through a sponge.  Ick.  Tomorrow will be better, though. 

Coming back online, slowly

Photo by drinks machine, licensed CC-BY-NC-ND

Long time, no write.

For the past few months my workouts have been inconsistent (especially for me), and I have been using work stress and emotional stress as excuses to Eat All The Things.  Some days I couldn't even bring myself to log my food - - who can tell how many calories I was getting from a restaurant poutine, after all? 

That shit stops now.  Well, to be more accurate, that shit stopped this week.  I took myself in hand and started back with the intensive workouts and getting back to my healthy eating routine. 

I still need to lose weight, so adopting an easier workout routine that is more of a maintenance program (which I had rationalized as more sustainable than the hard workouts I had previously done) just doesn't make sense.  So now I am back to 90 minutes of kicking my own ass on the weights, treadmill, and elliptical, 6 days a week.  It's only day 4 of the new-and-improved world order, but it's amazing how easy it is to slip back into a healthy routine after having been so diligent at it for more than 2 years, even after a break.  In a strange way my healthy lifestyle is starting to feel more comfortable to me than the lazy ass binge eating lifestyle I used to adopt.  And only 2 and a half years later! 

Of course my complete abandonment of healthy eating has had its sequellae - - I gained back weight, and a lot of it.  Not that I look like Jabba the Hut or anything, but I have noticed that my clothing is tight, and that is just Not On.  I didn't go out and get all these new clothes just to eat my way out of them after a month, no sir. 

So how did I get here?  Simple - I gave myself permission to indulge myself, using my stress and depression about work as excuses.  Frankly, I feel much better about myself and my life when I eat well and do a hard workout, so abandoning those good habits only contributed to my feelings of depression.  And once you start feeling bad because you're eating like crap, it's ever so easy to eat more to try and feel better ... except, of course, that this never works.  The only thing that works is to fix the thing that isn't working and to stick to the good habits that I know make me healthier.

So I took control of the work situation, and I will have more news on that score in 2-4 weeks or so.  I've still got a ton of work to do on that front, but I recently received some very good news that has given me hope for the future with respect to work, which is wonderful.  I'm not out of the woods yet, but soon, hopefully. 

The Nerd and I are also working at fixing up the apartment to make it more livable.  We are both clearing out a lot of deadwood (I mean, do I really need to keep 30 years of old cards from strangers?) and we have donated a bunch of unwanted furniture to charity.  This gives us more room to move, and more room for books, to be perfectly honest.  Since "books" is kind of the decorating theme for the Palatial Estate, this works well.  As the place shapes up, my mood improves even more.  I hate living in disarray, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel with this side project as well. 

So the workouts - what's new and different and what have I learned?  I learned that 46 year old knees do not take kindly to running when I have never run before, and I have had to dial back on the C25K training I was doing.  I sort of wrecked my right knee and aggravated an old groin injury, and in the interests of my health I have changed up the running to merely walking on the treadmill at a reasonable pace.

The weights are effective, so I have not changed anything up there, other than to kick things up a notch with an additional set.  I am currently doing 4 sets of 10 for 9 different exercises, and I will likely keep things at this level for another week or so.

The elliptical is still my best calorie burner and step driver, so I now do 90 minutes on the elliptical on non-weight days.  It kicks my ass every time, but it's totally worth it.  On weight days I do 10 minutes on the treadmill and 35 minutes on the elliptical for a total workout of about 90 minutes, and it feels good. 

No more light workouts for the time being - - they are fine for maintenance, which will be wonderful when I reach my goal.  That's a loooonnnngggg way in the future, however.  For now I need to suck it up, buttercup, and focus on bringing on the sweat 6 days a week for 90 minutes each morning.  So that's what I will do.

As for the food, it's back to first principles.  No more illicit snacking.  No more donuts, unlogged chocolate or cupcakes, no more poutine or grilled cheese, no more nachos or rice krispie square bars.  What do I eat?  The Nerd's delicious cooking, of course, with his balanced and nutritious meals.  I am trying to keep my daily calories under 1,700-1,800, and although I don't succeed every day, it's something to shoot for.  I know that this calorie target gives me enough room to eat enough delicious food to be satisfied, but not so much food that I risk going over the edge again.

I know that eating sensibly, working out to challenge myself, and avoiding snacking results in weight loss, and soon I will be back in my old weight neighbourhood.  I have lost some ground, but I will be back again.  I'm stubborn that way. 

Achievement unlocked - down to my lowest weight in years!

As you know, the fall of 2013 was a difficult one for me, and my snacking (and eating habits generally) took me completely off the rails.  I had reached a low of 188.5 pounds back in September and then got complacent and thought I could eat anything I wanted.  Surprise, surprise, this was not the case (as if I even thought this could be the case.  But I got really complacent, which has much the same result).  I ballooned up to 199 pounds (and at times even higher, I know, although I was down to 199 by the time I stepped on the scale again).

I finally put my foot down right before Christmas, and got back on the program of healthy eating in sensible portions, and stepped up my exercise routine by re-integrating weights and adding the treadmill for walking and a C25K program. Sure, it was a tough time to start a re-invigorated workout program, but I figured if I could stick with it over the holidays, everything that followed would be a piece of cake. Not that I planned on eating cake... or not much.

The results have been positive.  I have started losing weight again, and lots of it.  This week was no exception - - I lost 2.3 pounds, bringing me down to 188.1 pounds.  That's right, lower than my previous lowest weight! (does a little dance)  I am now back to breaking new trail in this weight loss adventure of mine, as it has been more than a decade since I was last at my current weight.  I am no longer simply trying to re-lose weight that I already lost, I am losing weight that I have been carrying around for years.  I am down 145.8 pounds overall, and that feels good.  Really good, actually.

You can see my Q4 disaster in the above chart - - I went from a pretty nice linear downward slope to a pretty wicked 4 month plateau / slight increase.  It is only with 5 weeks of consistent working out and eating well that I have resumed my regular weight loss, bringing me finally back to where I was when everything went off the rails - - and a bit lower, besides.

I still have a ways to go to hit my goal:

...but the trend is once again positive.

 In terms of those pesky goals, I am getting very close to my next goal, 185 pounds (or middleweight) - - I might get there in 2 or 3 more weeks!  And I am less than 20 pounds away from achieving one major goal, normal BMI.  That may be reachable in around 3 months, if I'm lucky.  I am going to have to think about how to celebrate that huge win - - celebrate in a way that does not involve consuming my body weight in cupcakes, that is.

I re-started C25K this week with proper running, and I have done the first two sessions bringing me up to 8 minutes of actual running time in 1 minute intervals.  It is definitely more challenging to run without hanging onto the treadmill for dear life, but I am really pleased to have re-started the program the right way.  My knees are in a constant state of twinge-iness, but not painful as such, so I don't think I need to change anything up right now.  Tomorrow morning will be another C25K morning to wrap up week 1 (again) if all goes as planned.

Coming up next week is the 2-year anniversary of my working out and getting serious about my health and fitness.  That would make it around 2 years ago now that I broke that chair.  It's interesting what gets us started on these life-changing journeys.  In my case, it was a cheap IKEA chair.  But without that chair I would not have had the motivation to keep pushing myself at the beginning, when it was painful just to walk to the corner, and even staying on the recumbent bike for 5 minutes was agony.

But that's a recap for next week.  For now, I am just trying to stay the course and keep focused on working my plan.  I think I will switch up the weights to 4 sets of 10 reps next week, as the 3 sets of 15 reps are challenging, but a little too readily do-able.  The rebooted C25K will continue, as will the endless hours on the elliptical (thank god for books on my iPad!).

I ran like a big girl today ...

... for all of about 60 seconds.  But you know what?  It felt GREAT! 

So you know that I have been working on a C25K program for the past 3 weeks, yes?  I have worked up to intervals of 2 min run - 2 min walk - 3 min run - 3 min walk, for a total run time of 10 minutes and a max run interval of 3 minutes.

Up to this morning, I have "run", if you can call it that, holding onto the treadmill arms or handle with a death-grip.  The treadmill is set to 4.5 mph, and I am performing movements that may eventually be running, but for now, are mostly like a strange bouncy part run-part shuffle hybrid. 

Today, just for shits and giggles, I decided to let go of the treadmill.  I had already completed about 7 minutes of running intervals by that point so there is a very real chance that I was oxygen starved and hallucinating, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.  So I just - let - go.  And then there I was, running.  Just like a normal person, arms pumping.

I ran for all of a minute before I realized what I was doing and completely forgot how to run all at once.  Then it was back to my death-grip on the treadmill in a flurry of arms and legs while I tried to comprehend what had just happened.

I know it is baby steps to running, but you know what?  It actually felt much easier and better to run like a normal person than what I have been doing holding onto the treadmill.  I enjoyed it - - at least for the brief instant in time when I was able to do it.

I can't wait for next time to see if I can run for a bit longer before spazzing out. 

I can't believe I just said that.  Who are you and what have you done to my brain??

On related news, I was able to lose another 2.1 pounds this week, thanks in no small part to the above-mentioned running (and all the other workouts I did this week).  This brings me back down 141.1 pounds, and less than 8 pounds away from middleweight.  Slow and steady is the way to do it, right?  Well I certainly have the "slow" part down - - and now that I've gotten back on my program, the "steady" part seems to be back on track too. 

I now weigh 192.8 pounds, and as you can see from the above chart, my lean mass and fat are starting to inch ever closer to the normal range.  Hitting a normal BMI will be such a triumph when it happens, as I have been overweight (or obese, or super-obese) more of my life than I have been normal. 

Something feels different about this time, though.  I feel like I am more consistently making healthier choices, and I am choosing an active lifestyle not because I have to do it to lose weight, but because it's fun / easy / better than being inactive.  I walk places I would previously have taken transit to, or, god forbid, taken a cab.  I walk when I don't need to.  I take extra trips because, hey, incremental steps.  This mindset is a completely new one for me. Before, working out was a necessary evil to be avoided as much as possible.  Now, I look for opportunities to work being active into my lifestyle, from working out on the elliptical and treadmill, to walking to work, to taking the stairs, to walking to shops rather than driving...this attitude change has taken 2 years and it just blows my mind, I have to tell you.

I feel like "yes, losing weight takes a long time and you have to work at it every day, but look at all the benefits and all the new things you can do".  I believe that I will reach my weight goal, it's only a matter of time.  I like this spirit of optimism - - it makes me think I can do anything, given enough time.

Maybe even one damn pushup one day. 

Speaking of pushups (!), for next week I think I will stay the course on my routine and keep doing 3 sets of 15 reps on the 8 exercises I have been doing to work my upper body, along with the usual 45 min - 60 min elliptical routines plus the C25K workouts.  This program is working for me so far, and I feel strong and good.  No injuries yet, touch wood! 

C25K Update - 30% complete

Well, I am officially done the first 8 C25K workouts using the 5K Runner app, and I am still alive, with two functioning knees.  That's much better than I thought I would be doing, frankly.  I will take that as a win, thank you very much.

As a child I always ran (when pursued by wolves or some other predator) in a galumphing, ungainly, frankly thudding manner.  No gazelle, me.  As an adult I never had occasion to run for my life, what with wolves and other predators being scarce in the big city, and it certainly never occurred to me to run for fun.  Have you ever looked at the typical runner's face?  It does not scream "I am having fun".  Mostly, it just looks like they are in pain, or trying to work out some complex math problem in their head.  No thank you.

But I have recently signed up for something that would require me to run 5K, so it was important for me to gentle myself into this running thing.  Everyone recommended C25K as a good program for the rank beginner, and I have to say that so far, I have been <whispers> enjoying it more than I expected </end whispers>.

What's that?  I am having fun running?  Nooooot exactly.  But I am not hating it.  And I feel absolutely amazing when I stop running, which may be the entire point of this runner's high that I keep hearing about. 

I am also impressed with this 5K Runner app, which, like most of these C25K programs, works up the increments in stages that are challenging, but manageable.  I am not looking forward to some of those later sessions when I will have to be running 20 and 30 minutes at a stretch, but I am hopeful from my experience so far that I will be able to do it when the time comes.  The intervals appear to be chosen specifically to gradually increase the running time in manageable pieces - - at least until weeks 7 and 8 when it's just "run the whole time, sucka!". 

I still have to hold onto the treadmill when I run, and I am sure I sound like some kind of brontosaurus thundering across the plain, but each day I am more comfortable with the physics of running, and I am getting (gradually) used to the idea of running, which is a big part of the whole program.  Eventually I may even run like a big girl, arms pumping like I see people do on the street.  Not yet.  Perhaps when I have finished 60% of the program.

And it does feel kind of good to actually run in my running shoes, rather than merely use the elliptical.   It is also doing wonders for my mileage, which means I will have to replace said shoes earlier than my last pair.  It's worth it, if at the end I can hold my own against a 5K run. 

Chugging along - 139 pounds down... again

This week was a good week so far as sticking to my program went.  I have finished week 2 - or should I say, I have survived week 2 - of my C25K program, and I did weights 3x this week focusing on my upper body.  Gotta keep those sculpted arms, after all.

My eating was under control, too.  Not a lot of snacking, and no "off the record" meals or treats.  What I ate, I logged.  The snacking was much better this week than before Christmas, and last night when I caught myself trying to rationalize a scoop of peanut butter before bed, I just went to bed instead of snacking.  So far, so good, in other words.

My cholesterol and A1C numbers were solidly green when I tested them this month, too.  I have had generally normal fasting blood sugar numbers for months now, but in December I was seeing a few slightly elevated numbers creep in there, likely due to the complete deviation from my normal workout routines and eating habits.  Since I have been back on track, however, the blood sugar numbers have been solidly normal, and that is reflected in my normal A1C numbers.  Whew!   

And the result of all this hard work?  I have achieved the impossible, and turned back time to the end of August.  That's right, I weighed in at 194.9 pounds this morning, down 2.5 pounds from last week at this time.  The last time I weighed this was at the end of August, before the wheels fell off.  That's 4 entire lost months down the drain.  In other words, instead of hitting my weight loss goal in January, I will be lucky to make it in May or June. 

But you know what?  That's OK.  I am happy with the progress I have made so far, and I am very happy with the results of all my hard work.  Am I disappointed that I have given up some of those hard-fought losses?  Sure I am.  Will I let that stop me from working my plan and trying to get back to where I was, and move on from there?  No way.  I have come too far.  And let's be honest, 139 pounds lost is nothing to sneeze at.  That's still a full person, and I am going to celebrate that victory for what it is. 



With that spirit, here's a recent photo in the sparkle dress:

And here's a photo of the Nerd and I looking fabulous (taken New Year's Day 2014):

Lets compare to September 2003:

Or July 2007:

Yep, I would say that the Nerd and I are looking pretty fly this year.  Even with giving back a little bit of ground in the weight loss department. 

With this week's 2.5 pound loss (1.4 pounds down from New Year's Eve alone), I am less than 10 pounds away from being a Middleweight, and less than 30 pounds away from my goal weight.  If I continue on my 1.5 pound a week average, I will now reach my target sometime around the end of May or early June.  Just in time for summer bathing suit weather again!  Bring it on!

Christmas was Tryptophan-tastic!

A few events of note happened this week.

The first is that I once again dusted myself off and got back on track for healthy eating and challenging workouts, just in time for the orgy of food that is Christmas.  Ah well, my timing has never been what we can call "good". 

This week I also began a new upper body focused weight routine, as well as a couch to 5K program with the intention of learning how to run.

As for the eating portion of my healthy lifestyle, I have been doing pretty well.  I managed to control my hitherto unbridled snacking when we had both sides of the family over to the Palatial Estate on Christmas Eve for a cocktail party, and I ended up staying on track for the most part.  At one point I caught my hand diving into a dish of cashews before the party and I turned the motion into an elaborate swoop and moved the dish into a cupboard to keep it out of my eye line and that seemed to work - - my snacking was kept at a minimum and I stayed on track for my daily calories. 

Yesterday on Christmas Day we had the full turkey dinner experience at the Nerd's sister's house, with all the tryptophan that comes with it.  The dinner was one of the best turkey dinners I have ever had, and I enjoyed every bite of it.  And the Mexican wedding cookies.  And the peanut brittle.  And the candy cane brittle.  And the chocolate letter "M" (for "Magniloquent", natch).  OK, so I went a little bananas yesterday with the food.  But I got it out of my system, and today had the usual breakfast and no cravings for illicit chocolate (or licit chocolate, for that matter), which is good. 

I have completed week 1 of the "5K Runner" C25K program using the iPad app.  Like most C25K apps, this one sets a warm-up period, then intervals of running alternating with walking, followed by a final cool down period.  The first day was a 25 minute workout involving a 5 minute warm-up followed by 6 intervals of 1 minute running + 1.5 minutes walking, followed by a 5 minute cool down.  Days 2 and 3 still involved the same warm-up and cool down, but with 8 intervals of 1 minute running + 1.5 minutes walking.  All in all this week I "ran" 6 minutes on day 1, then 8 minutes each on days 2 and 3, for a total "run" of 22 minutes this week. 

Am I actually running?  Probably not, but I am going 4.5 mph on the treadmill and I am making an awful lot of noise.  It could actually look like running, if you squint.  The point is to get my body used to the mechanics of what could eventually turn into running, and this is what the app appears to be good for.

Interestingly, for someone who has done 30 minutes to 90 minutes on the elliptical machine for months now, the cardio of the treadmill is very different and much more challenging.  I barely break a sweat after 30 minutes on the elliptical, whereas on the treadmill I am sweating up a storm after the first running interval.  I feel the treadmill more in my hamstrings and glutes than I feel the elliptical, too.  Overall, it's a very different cardio workout.

Right now I am still having to really push to complete the C25K workout, because: i) it is difficult; and ii) running is still not a natural motion for me.  But the emotional reward I feel for completing a C25K workout is still very positive and is helping to keep me on track, which is good.  I don't get a "runner's high", but I get a "stubborn woman's glow", which is almost as good.  The other nice thing about the C25K workout days is that I "only" do 45 minutes on the elliptical, which feels like I am getting away with something. 

On weight days I have been doing 3 sets of 10 reps of my various upper body exercises, which takes between 30 and 40 minutes, depending on how much I futz with the weight bench.  Overall the workout is very challenging, and I am definitely spent after it is done.  I have been following those weight workouts with 60 minutes on the elliptical machine, and each day this week I have really had to push myself not to stop early.  But I did it, and I feel the smug feeling one gets from pushing through to accomplish something one really doesn't want to do. 

Next week I will be doing week 2 of the C25K app, and it already looks a little intimidating to me - - 4 intervals of 1.5 min run + 2 min walking, followed by 2 intervals of 1 minute running + 1 minute walking, for a total run time of 8 minutes.  It's good for me to see that it is the same "run" time as I did this morning, just packaged a little differently.  We'll see how it goes...

This week I had a moral win by getting up at 3.15 am (!) to do my usual weight + elliptical workout on Christmas morning so that we could get out to my parent's house in Brampton around 6.40 am to open stockings with the family.  Driving back to town from the Nerd's sister's place at 10.30 pm I was initially puzzled that the CN Tower was still displaying the same festive green-white-red stripes as on Christmas morning, until I realized that it was still Christmas Day ... just an incredibly long day.  Whew!

Today (Boxing Day) the Nerd and I slept in to 8 am, and although we both did full workouts (he did 90 minutes on the elliptical and I did 30 minutes of C25K and 45 minutes on the elliptical), we were in no rush and it was a very relaxing morning, all things considered.

Tomorrow is Friday, and a normal day.  It's weigh-in day, too, so we'll see how virtuous I *really* have been able to be this week.  I will also be back to the office and back to 60 minutes on the elliptical, according to the plan. 

The balance of today is scheduled to be the day of a thousand naps, so I should get to it.  Those naps won't have themselves, after all...

It's not pretty, but it's not as bad as I feared...

Photo courtesy Emma V Valentine, licensed CC-BY-NC-ND

It was with a considerable degree of trepidation that I faced my nemesis the scale this morning.  After 2 months of eating like a barbarian, I knew there were consequences to be faced.  This was not going to be a quick little blip that was easily overcome.  Nope.  This time I am going to have to face the music and accept the fact that I have backslid and given up literally months of progress.

Yesterday was the first day back on track, and I had a great workout on the treadmill and elliptical machine, followed by a day of excellent healthy food.  I even managed to get my 8 cups of water in.  So far, so good. 

This morning I got up early and faced my new upper body focused weight program.  We had a few rough edges figuring out where to put the weight bench so that there was enough space to do the lifts whilst avoiding knocking the Nerd off the elliptical with the barbell.  I am pleased to report that there were no serious incidents, and we were both able to complete our workouts without major injury. 

This morning I did 3 sets of 10 reps of each of the following: i) military press (30 pounds); ii) barbell upright row (30 pounds); iii) barbell bench press (30 pounds); iv) dumbbell flyes (10 pounds each); v) modified pushups; vi) barbell bent over row (30 pounds); vii) barbell side bend (30 pounds); and viii) situps.  I will do this plan for a week, and then will see about adding reps and/or sets. 

After the weight training I did an hour on the elliptical machine, followed by a nice 5 minute cool-down on the treadmill at a relaxed 2.5 mph pace.  All in all, I felt great after doing what was a pretty intense workout, especially after having been such a slacker for a while.  I am definitely feeling the effects of my C25K workout yesterday, and I expect I will feel this upper body workout tomorrow.  I love the feeling I get when I work out hard - - the muscle soreness tells me that my workouts are shaking my body out of its complacency. 

With the workout finished, it was time for me to step onto the scale and face the music.  And you know what?  It was bad.  But not as bad as I expected.  I thought I was up around 15 pounds, measured after the sodium-tastic craft hot dogs of Saturday night's dinner.  This morning I was "only" up 10.6 pounds, to 199.1 pounds (of course, the word "only" is relative here).  This is still in onederland, still overweight (rather than obese), and not as bad as it could have been.  But it is still 10.6 pounds up from my lowest weight. 

To put it into perspective, I last weighed this much around the end of August.  That's right, I set myself back 4 months with 2 months of poor eating decisions.  In fairness, that's 2 months of creeping up, and 2 months of fighting a holding battle, but it's still 4 months behind where I had been.  So frustrating.

But I have a plan, I have the equipment, and I have run out of patience with my own excuses.  I have recorded this weight on my Fitbit and MyFitnessPal so I am not hiding the fact that I have lost ground.  The good news is that I know I can regain that ground.  It will just take time.  Here's where thing stand as of this morning:

I have 14.1 pounds to go to hit middleweight.  Let's go!

Ugh - backsliding over the holidays is no fun...

So there have been some changes in the Nerd-Sassy Advocate household this fall, not all of them for the better. 

First, and most frustratingly, we both have been bad little backsliders this fall, and have taken every opportunity to snack, indulge, and ease off on the workouts.  Between business trips (2 x 4 days of hotel food each), family visits out of town (2 x 3 days each), holiday parties (2), festive lunches, dinners, or cocktail parties (4), both the Nerd and I have put back on some of the weight that we collectively fought so hard to lose.  In my case, it's around 15 or so pounds up from my lowest recorded weight, although the scale is so horrifyingly high that I can't bear to record my weight right now.  Give me a day or so back on plan and I will record the new (higher) baseline, but for now, all I can say is "yikes!".  And "f---, f---, f---, f---, f---, f---" (you will have to extrapolate the missing letters). 

So it turns out that working out less than usual, eating much more than usual, and eating out much, much more than usual (with the associated sodium hit) has a negative impact on weight loss.  No one could have predicted that.  Oh, wait, EVERYONE could have predicted that.  Sheesh.  Right now I am not so much ashamed as chagrined at myself and my utter lack of discipline.  Dogs have more discipline than I have had this Q4.

On the positive side, it will be relatively easy to stay in a maintenance zone once I actually reach my target, as I have been (up until last week when I blew my brains out with food) cycling around the same 5 pounds over and over.  Maintenance defined.  So that's encouraging.

Discouraging is the fact that I will need to lose those damn 15 pounds that I have lost and lost and lost again.  But really, I have only myself and my unbridled eating to blame, so I have to own it, get back on track, and move on.  At Christmas.  Geez - - I don't make it easy for myself, do I?

In the spirit of kicking my own ass, and as a gift to myself for Christmas, I purchased a newish treadmill.  While I cannot afford one of these things at $1,500+ new, I was able to pick up this AFG 3.1 AT treadmill at half price second-hand from a nice couple that is moving to Calgary. 

This is a very solid treadmill, barely used (as so many treadmills are) and just what I need to begin my C25K program.  And by solid, I mean "incredibly heavy".  That thing is not going anywhere now that it is in the workout room - - it is too damn heavy to move. 

As an aside, I have set myself a couple of fitness objectives for Q1 2014 including being able to do 25 standard pushups in a row (I can currently only do 3 sets of 12 modified pushups), and to be able to run 5K comfortably.  The treadmill will help me deliver on the running goal, which is helpful because this weekend, coincidentally, Toronto had an ice storm and it's not fit outside for people to walk, let alone run.

Yesterday the Nerd and one of our lovely neighbours wrestled the treadmill into the workout room, and the Nerd assembled it for me last night.  The treadmill is Very Large, and Very Heavy, as the Nerd discovered to the dismay of one of his toes (now slightly less broken than it was this time last week - oops!). 

I did my first C25K program this morning, and the treadmill worked great.  It will take a while for me to learn how to run like a normal person, but the C25K app I am using was very useful in giving me the required walk-run intervals.  While I am not sure that you could call the shuffling thing I was doing "running", per se, it was faster than a walk, and eventually may settle into something resembling running.  My goal is just to be able to keep up with a pack of people jogging 5 km, without stopping to walk or pray for death.  It's a simple objective, and one I hope to achieve.  Fortunately, after a year and a half of using the elliptical, my cardio is very strong.  Unfortunately, it turns out that running on a treadmill is an entirely different kind of cardio, so it is still very challenging. 

I completed stage 1 of the New Rules of Lifting for Women, and definitely saw strength improvements, but I stopped stage 2 prematurely - - it is heavily lunge and reverse lunge and modified lunge focused, and my knees were starting to fall apart under the demand.  Since I need my knees to be in as good condition as possible in the spring, I made the executive decision to pull the plug on that program.  I will continue with weight training as I enjoy it and think it is very helpful,  but I am going to focus more on upper body for now.  That will help me with my pushups, too, especially since I have feeble girl arms.  A T-Rex is better at pushups than I am, which is a cry for help if ever I saw one.

So yesterday was not so good a day for discpline, what with me taking (yet another) unplanned rest day, and with the Nerd and I going out for craft hot dogs for dinner.  Today, however, everything is back on track.  I worked out in the morning for 75 minutes (between the treadmill and the elliptical), and we have eaten sensibly today, with no snacking. 

Getting my snacking behaviour back under control will take a few days of sticking to my routine, but I know I can do it.  Christmas Eve-Christmas Day will be challenging, but the Nerd and I are planning a variety of healthy food options as snacks at our family party on Tuesday, and I know I can stick to portions on Christmas Day with the various families.  Getting up at 3am on Christmas Day to workout will be ... challenging ... but we can do it. 

The plan works when we stick to it.  We know it works, as we have both seen fantastic results.  At home, both the Nerd and I are pretty disciplined.  It's out of the house when we go bananas.  That ends this week.  Sadly, I expect it will take me at least until mid-February to get back down to where I once was, but that's the consequences of undisciplined eating.  That'll teach me!

So, it is once more into the breach, with the objective of being back on plan during one of the more social weeks of the year.  Wish us luck!

Circling the wagons

It has been a while since I last posted.  To be honest, I have had a month full of disruptions to my routine that when combined with work stress, have really thrown me off my game.

I have come so far since I first began working out and I am so close to my ultimate goal, but yet am still so far away, that it has been difficult to stay motivated.  I felt like my workouts were not as effective as they had been, which is frustrating when I was working as hard as I was every day. 

So I decided to withdraw and circle the wagons a bit and evaluate what I have been doing and change things up a bit with an eye to sustainability.  I couldn't possibly keep working out at the amount that I had been doing without completely burning out.  I caught myself getting competitive about my workouts and trying for huge calorie burns just for the sake of getting huge burns, rather than trying to achieve specific results (other than weight loss, of course).  There's just no way that I was able to keep doing 90-minute elliptical workouts or 2.5 hour workouts with weights + elliptical, without either going in to work late every morning, or getting up at 4 am.  Working the hours I have been working recently (crazy hours), 4 am just is not feasible.  Neither is going into the office late.

On top of all this I have been teaching a college class at a Southern Ontario law school this month.  This is a great opportunity and I am really enjoying it, but as any teacher or professor will tell you, there is a TON of prep required to teach a class, and for every 3 hour class I have had to spend 9-10 hours in preparation reviewing the cases, writing my notes, and preparing my slides.  Then there's the drive to the college - - 2.5 hours each way from my home in Toronto.  On days I was teaching I was getting back home only around 10 pm.  On weeks when I taught twice it was particularly brutal, with only one day between classes in which to try and catch up on work (impossible!) and prep for the next class.  Thank god I am done teaching for the next two weeks, and I only have two more classes to teach and the final exam to supervise. 

But this month has not been all bad.  I have had some nice wins.

I tested my A1C (glycated hemoglobin) this month, and my values were in the normal range.  A1C is a test of how well one has been controlling fasting blood sugar over the previous 3 months.  I has pre-diabetic when I first started testing my blood sugar last July, and I waited until this month to test my A1C because I only had my first average normal month as recently as May of this year.  It looks like my weight loss and overall health improvements have been reflected in my blood sugar values, which is very gratifying.  And hugely important, given my family history.

All of my cholesterol values were also normal this month, which was nice to see. 

My measurements at the beginning of the month have continued to decrease, to the point where I am now officially a size 12, down from 26 when I first started working out - - that's 7 full sizes down:

The party dress (see previous post) at the IPIC Annual General Meeting was an absolute triumph. I looked great and felt amazing and got a ton of compliments.  I will post a photo once I get to a different computer. 

I also did my charity 5K walk this month.  Overall I raised more than $850 for breast cancer research, and was able to shave a minute off my best 5K walking pace.  Even though it was drizzly, cold and miserable out, I had a fabulous time walking with people from my office, and all for a good cause.

I have decided to shake up my routine in an attempt to re-energize and to kick start my system.  With this in mind, I am going to start working Stage 1 of the New Rules of Lifting for Women.  I will be focusing primarily on the exercise program rather than the diet, as my diet - - when I am not binging on chocolate, that is - - is very good, and it doesn't need that much tweaking.  I will incorporate some elements of the diet into my routine, but I don't need to completely change how I eat, which is good, because I love the Nerd's delicious cooking too much to give it up! 

As for the workouts, the first stage of 6-8 weeks will involve 2 alternating workouts with escalating weight/difficulty.  The first workout involves barbell squats, push-ups, bent over rows, step ups, and prone jackknifes (using the Swiss ball).  The second workout includes deadlifts, dumbbell shoulder presses, the dumbbell replacement for a lat pulldown, lunges, and Swiss ball crunches.  The plan involves fewer exercises and fewer sets than I have been doing in my weight program to date, but higher weights, and more challenge.  Today we went out and got some heavier dumbbells, a barbell and some plates, and of course, a Swiss ball.

From what I have seen of others' results after Stage 1 of the program, my shape will not change that much, but I will see some minor improvement in tone and some noticeable strength improvement.  I used to be much stronger the first time I lost weight when I was using my universal weight machine, and it has been a long road coming back to strength after so many years of being out of shape.  The Nerd got me some heavier dumbbells for my birthday, which is another step in the right direction and very much appreciated.

Oh yeah, I had a birthday last week.  I turned 46 on (Canadian, and the correct) thanksgiving, and it hit me harder than I expected.  Just entering "46" on the elliptical each morning was jarring.  Of course, the alternative to aging really sucks, so I will take having another birthday with as much grace and dignity as I can muster.  After all, I am much, much healthier than I was last year at this time - - I weighed about 265-270 pounds a year ago, and now I weigh 188-195 pounds (depending on whether I measure pre- or post-chocolate binge). 

I am stronger, with better stamina, and am better able to do physical things than last year.  On almost every measurable criteria - - blood sugar, cholesterol, blood pressure, weight, measurements - - I am healthier than a year ago.  Overall, all of my hard work has really paid off, and I need to simply take a deep breath and gather my energy for the final push to hit my weight loss goal. 

Now I just need to dust myself off, regroup, and charge back into my program.  Wish me luck!