6 months with the personal trainer (with photos)

Time sure flies when you are pushing yourself to work out every day.  And by "flies", I mean, of course, "passes predictably with the rotation of the earth around the sun". 

It has snuck up on me, but believe it or not it has been 6 full months that I have been working with the personal trainer, Mr. Fitness.  We have had 23 sessions in that time and the only missing sessions have been planned in advance around our respective holidays - - I am pleased to say that I have yet to cancel one of our workouts, no matter how little I look forward to some of them (high intensity intervals, I'm looking at you!).

My objective in working with the trainer was to help me break through that plateau that had me trapped cycling in the 200-210 pound range, and to help me to be stronger and more toned.

On a purely numerical level, we have achieved positive results.  I have lost more than 20 pounds since I began working with the trainer (although I confess to giving up some of these losses thanks to my recent trip to PEI with the Nerd).  Rather than the low 200s, the 180s are now my easy set point.  Getting lower will take still more discipline and work, but it is very achievable given the results I have seen so far.

As for my measurements, these appear to be stabilizing.  With the trainer I have lost around 12", to bring me down to a size 12-14 (in pants, skirts and dresses) and a M (in shirts and tops).  I still struggle with my own self-image as a "big girl" so I find it difficult to believe that a size medium top will actually fit me, but time and time again when I chicken out and default to the large I discover that those tops are too big for me.  Eventually I will learn to accept the reality that I am a size medium.  In the meantime this means that the Nerd and I actually wear the same size tops, so I can steal his clothes.  Tee hee.

The body shape is where I see the most difference:

My biggest frustration at this point is with my loose skin on my arms and belly.  Sadly, there are sequellae to being super-obese, and loose skin is one of them.  It is not ridiculous and obvious like some people experience - - I don't have giant flaps of skin hanging everywhere - - but there is definitely excess tissue making it impossible to tone as much as some other people.  I am very happy with the tone that I do have, though, and where I am less toned, like my belly, I like the suggestion of tone, assuming that is the best result I will see. 

Some nice changes I have noticed since I first began working out: I enjoy wearing colour more than I did before.  Although I still wear an inordinate amount of black, that's more because it's a very flexible colour for a professional wardrobe rather than the camouflage that it used to be.  I now preferentially seek colour for outfits, and this is a nice thing.  I am embracing colour as I come out of my shell with my weight loss. 

Another change: I do not dread body hugging clothing any more, and in fact I am more likely to go out of the house in yoga pants and an exercise top than ever before.  When I was heavier I believed in the magic of layers, which is poor magic at best.  Almost no one looks thinner by adding layers, but that it the delusion under which I laboured when I was heavier.  Eventually I will feel confident when I wear workout clothes out of doors, but for now I am glad to have the option. 

Another, more profound change: I am no longer automatically the biggest person in the room.  In fact, I am just as likely to be considered "average".  This by itself gives me confidence because I know that people are much less likely to be judging me by my food choices or making assumptions about my intelligence or work ethic because of my weight (sadly, this is a thing that happens, and happened to me).  Sure, there are still jerks out there, but as a more stereotypically "normal" looking person I can blend into the background in a way that I never could when I was heavier. 

A friend said last night that I am the same person I was when I was heavier, I just look different on the outside - - my essential inner core remains the same.  This is true.  But people make so many judgments on the outer package in this world that even though I am the same person, I am viewed differently.  People at the office are surprised to look at photos of me from my heavier days because they do not associate me with "a fat person".  News flash: I was just a "person" - - the weight was not the defining factor.  Now, at least, it is less of a distraction.

So six months in with Mr. Fitness and things are progressing nicely.  I am pleased with my results and don't see changing my routine anytime soon.  Our Thursday grueling workouts will continue, holidays and vacations permitting.

Here's a gratuitious photo from our holiday in PEI, taken in front of the Confederation Bridge:

Clawing my way back...one day at a time

I had a major breakthrough at the end of April finally breaking past my previous low weight of 185.4 to reach 184.9 pounds.  It took months and months and months of work to undo the impact of poor eating habits over the period before I started work at my new job last year, and the holidays at the turn of this year.

My personal trainer, Mr. Fitness, was a major part of this turnaround.  Another part - - a very big part, as it happens - - was my disciplined eating habits.  Reducing snacking and keeping my calories within a reasonable range helped me drop the weight slowly but steadily.  The workouts helped me improve my overall fitness and get me toned.  Together the eating habits and my workouts combine to improve my fitness level every week.

At the end of April, right after hitting this milestone, I went home to Edmonton for a holiday.  Healthy eating habits went out the window with numerous dinners out combined with unhealthy-ish food at the Patriarch's house.  After I got back from Edmonton I had a few moderately good weeks, then it was back on a plane to New York and all the food and drink that one finds there.  More eating out, and more street food.  It turns out that I am very good at finding food in New York.  Hey, a girl's gotta have a skill. 

After this veritable smörgåsbord of eating and drinking I knew it would take a few weeks of highly disciplined eating and intense workouts to get me back into shouting distance of my previous low.

So that's what I did.  I kicked the workouts up a notch and I stopped snacking at the office.  After the usual 3 or 4 day withdrawal period this was no longer a major struggle and I found it relatively easy to stay on track with my eating plan.  Now after a couple of "clean" eating weeks I have virtually no desire to snack and it is much easier for me to manage my food consumption every day.

I am now back down to 186 pounds and change, a mere whisper away from my previous low milestone of 184.9 pounds.  I feel toned and strong and am noticing that my clothes are fitting better than before. 

On the one hand it is easy to get despondent about putting myself through what is essentially a 2-month plateau.  One week of really bad eating requires at least 6 weeks of good behaviour to undo - - yikes!  That math really sucks.

On the other hand it is wonderful to know what works and to have the confidence to apply what works knowing that it will pay dividends sooner or later. 

On the "sooner or later" front, one comparatively recent innovation is that I no longer set time limits on myself to lose "x" pounds/week or to reach my goal weight by a specific date.  As long as I am making positive strides in controlling my eating or pushing my exercising or I see that I am losing something (no matter how little), I remain positive.  I know that the way my body behaves it will lose a little, or none at all and then suddenly lose pound after pound in its own good time - - as long as I stick to my program.  Although I would like to control when the weight comes off I am apparently not the boss of this and so have gradually learned how to accept the uncertainty (although admittedly with more zen-like calm some weeks than others). 

All in all, then, it has been a good couple of weeks.  I am sticking to my program and I continue to see progress.  That makes me very happy.  

Still here, still working

I went out west to visit family in April, and that basically meant a couple of things - - not enough working out (none, in fact), and too much food.  Wayyyy too much food.  So the past month or so has been basically spent fighting a holding action to get down to my earlier low weight. 

The biggest challenge, frankly, was getting my head back into proper eating.  I had a couple of weeks of eating simply ridiculous amounts of food, and it has taken me a couple of weeks just to train my body back to not craving snacks all the time.  I don't generally crave snacks as a rule, but I find that when I get back into the snacking mindset it takes me a couple of weeks of going "snack cold turkey" before I stop craving snacks. Once I get the snacking out of my system I find it much easier to stick to a sensible eating plan.  So yeah, there's that addictive personality thing I still need to watch out for, even after all these years of working out.

Once I got back home it was easier to get right back into the workout routine at least.  And Mr. Fitness has been coming over each week to kick my ass right and proper, which has been great.  We have had 22 training sessions together and the differences have been profound.  I still have a ways to go, but compared to where I was last December, I have seen real progress working with the personal trainer. 

So, net net things are still going well.  Lots of things going on to keep me busy and some new workout equipment that I will post about shortly. 

20 Pounds Down with the Personal Trainer

My work with Mr. Fitness continues to pay dividends.  In all honesty, getting a personal trainer has been the second-best fitness decision I have ever made, second only to my initial decision to start exercising in the first place. 

Last month I felt a bit like I was treading water in that although I was confident that my hard work would eventually pay off and I was losing weight, it was coming off in dribs and drabs.  I suspected that I was in for a major loss after I passed that little plateau and I was right - - this month has seen some dramatic losses.

All in all I have lost 20 pounds under Mr. Fitness' tutelage since the beginning of the year, which is just amazing.  My body fat has come down as well, directionally.

Consider how far I have come - - when I started working out my BMI was a whopping 49.3.  Think about that for a moment.  It took me months of working out to lose 63 pounds which lowered my weight just enough that my BMI would even register on most charts, which typically only go up to 40 BMI.  Now my BMI is under 28, and on the way to a normal 25, eventually.

As you can see from this chart, above, this is the third time that I have reached this weight zone since I began to get fit back in 2012.  The first time was in the summer and fall of 2013, and then again in November 2014 and now again, just recently.  That zone from 193-203 has proven to be my achilles heel, time and time and time again.

This is a very dangerous place for me because I am getting close enough to my goal that it is within reach, but I am still far enough away that it will take a lot of work to get there.  In the past I have found ways to sabotage myself, mostly by giving myself permission to rest on my laurels and break discipline for a day or two...which turns into a week or two...which turns into 20 or 30 pounds.  After all, it's just so damn easy to say "I've done so well this week and lost so much, I deserve a treat day"...  Trust me when I say that as a professional binge eater* [*retired], I can undo in one day of massive eating what has taken literally weeks of work to accomplish.  Talk about demoralizing.

This week had the potential to set me off on that bad path again.  A project at work was facing some challenges that required me to devote most of my week to putting out fires, with a lot of meetings with senior management and stressful conversations.  Lots of work that completely derailed my usual load of work, in other words, so it has been a week that almost made me flashback to the days at the old law firm, when I would not leave until 9-10 pm at night on a regular basis. 

At one point on Tuesday after yet another issue popped up on this project I caught myself eyeing the candy machine in my office with malice aforethought.  I was seconds away from letting loose when I decided to look at my weight loss progress graph (the one you see above).  It was like having a bucket of cold water dumped on my head - - I immediately stopped craving chocolate because I didn't want to undo all of that progress I had worked so hard for.  This in itself was a major win.

Mr. Fitness came over to kick my ass on Tuesday as well, so it was the perfect end to a stressful day - - we lifted things and put them down and I balanced more than I previously had and I bench pressed 90 pounds (a new record for me) and I sweated out all those negative feelings.  I don't know if I got any endorphins out of my training session, but I sure as hell felt better afterwards.  And the best thing was that I was seriously looking forward to working out with Mr. Fitness, because a hard workout was exactly what I needed to help me deal with the stress of that week.  And I was right - - it was just what the doctor ordered.

Which was important, because Wednesday I found out that I was getting a new boss, someone who up to that day had been my nominal peer.  This lawyer is senior to me in the company, having joined about 4 years ago, and he is slightly senior to me in legal experience as well - - he was the year ahead of me in law school.  He is a bright and extremely competent lawyer with excellent judgment and a solid skill set, and he has earned the respect of the bottling organization with whom he does the bulk of his work.  I have no doubt that he has the ability to succeed as the new VP and General Counsel of the pop factory here in Canada.

But... I am mourning the fact that I am losing (in a way) the best boss that I have ever had.  I had such an immediate and easy rapport with my boss that it made not only my job easier, but was a large measure of why I enjoyed coming to work every day.  Suffice it to say that I do not have the same easy rapport with my new boss, who is as unlike me in every way as my old boss was similar.

To be clear, my old boss is not being fired or retiring - - he is moving back to the mother ship in Atlanta and he will still be available to counsel and mentor me from there, just as he has done here in Toronto.  That fact alone is helping to keep me positive through this transition, which will be difficult enough.

The biggest challenge is that I will need to discover, together with my new boss, how we communicate and work together as boss-direct report where previously we had been peer-peer.  There will be some changes, for sure, but lots of opportunity for me, so I am looking forward to it, in a way.

But still, it rocked my world for a couple of days, and definitely set me back on my heels.  It would have been so completely easy - and understandable - for me to go out, get drunk, and eat all the food.  But I didn't.  I indulged in a little retail therapy, which in a way helped keep me on track because I bought a dress and a suit in a slightly smaller size - - I can't eat all the nachos and still fit into that nice size 12 dress, nosir!

So it's been a busy week just chock full of stress.  Next week is shaping up just as challenging, as I will be travelling to Atlanta for the first time to meet with the senior legal team down there - - people who are important to impress, in other words.  No stress there, nope!  I am totally bringing my workout clothes with me so that I can work out in the hotel gym, that's for damn sure.

1.5 pounds down ... 25.5 pounds to goal

It's been a good week, all things considering.  I have gotten back into my healthy routine after my little break last week and I have been really enjoying how easy it is to stay within my calorie goals with our new portioning of meals. 

And the work is paying dividends.  I lost another pound and a half this week to being me down to 190.5 pounds, which is only 25.5 pounds away from my goal.

I was laughing with The Nerd on one of my walks to work this week that I was able to lose the first 120 pounds in about a year, and the next 20 pounds have taken 2 years.  Mostly because I have had to keep losing them over and over and over again. 

But now that I am comfortable that I really know how to lose those particular pounds (195 lbs-210 lbs, I'm looking at you!) it has been somewhat easier to keep going.  I joke, because otherwise I would be depressed at how my intermittent self-sabotage has repeatedly set me back.  I really am chagrined at myself how often I have had to dust myself off and recommit to my lifestyle change.  Smart people do not take so long to learn what works.  Ah well, I never said I was smart, just doggedly determined and stubborn as hell.  That works almost as well sometimes.

The good thing is that since working with Mr. Fitness my progress has been much more linear.  Even when I go slightly off the rails with food my workouts push me so much that I never regress for long.  And even when I do mess up I know that I will soon be on track - - that's amazingly important, because it keeps me from getting too despondent over periodic slips. 

Speaking of Mr. Fitness, he well and truly kicked my ass last night with a high intensity interval session.  Just brutal, but it felt great.  And it felt even better to stop, let me tell you!

I have received a ton of compliments on how I look this week, so I think that I have reached another milestone of toning.  It's the kind of progress that I don't notice because I look at myself every day, but is apparently dramatic to other people, judging by the comments.  The Nerd and I had dinner with my old landlords on Monday night and she whispered to me that when she saw me she told her husband that I "look tight".  I think that means "toned", because as a lawyer, I am by nature a tight ass - - there would be nothing new to comment on.  Ha! 

Another weekend is on the way, and before you know it the end of the month - and measurements - will be upon us.  I'm just going to keep plugging away and see where it takes me. 

2 month progress with the personal trainer

As you know I let myself go completely off my program, food-wise, in December.  Too many social events, too many stressful things happening at home and at work, and frankly too many excuses - - I simply gave myself permission to eat like the "old days".  The "old days" being when I ate whatever I wanted and weighed more than 300 pounds as a result.  Yeah, those days sucked.

That could not go on, and a happy confluence of receiving a small inheritance coinciding with my hearing about the husband of one of my coworkers at the pop factory being a personal trainer led me to begin working with Mr. Fitness at the end of December of last year.

I was expecting to see results.  I knew that a trainer would both push me harder than I was used to pushing myself and that he would make me do things I had never done before (deadlifts, anyone?).  The combination of these two things I was certain would yield results - - I was sure that I would be stronger and more toned as a result of working with Mr. Fitness. 

But holy cow.  There is a difference between intellectually understanding that I would see changes in my body and actually seeing those changes.  Even with a couple of weeks of unbridled emotional eating at the beginning of January (around the restructuring in our office when I Ate All The M&Ms) I have seen positive results on all fronts.

Let's look at the easy things first.  I have lost 13 pounds since I started working with the trainer (and 139.9 pounds overall), and that is net of the January M&M binge and last week's Oscar party with multiple pieces of nutella flower and cookies(!).

I know that this is well-trod ground for me because it is easily the third time I have lost this weight, but I am confident that working with Mr. Fitness I can keep the momentum going this time.  I have no choice, frankly, as he takes no pity on me and pushes me more each week.  Which is kind of the point, I suppose.

My measurements tell the same story:

Everything is toning up under the trainer's ministrations.  Since I have begun working with Mr. Fitness I have lost an inch off my bust, 2 inches off my waist, and 2 inches off my hips.  My legs and arms are also more toned. 

All well and good - let's look at the photographic evidence, shall we?

These photos show only the period from when I started working with the trainer, to now, two months later.  My core and arms and legs are much more toned than when I started working with the trainer, and although my arms are not bilaterally symmetrical (thanks to my carpal tunnel in my left hand), I am getting stronger every week.  Overall I am much stronger than before I began working with the trainer, with better balance and coordination to boot.

If anyone is considering working with a personal trainer, I recommend it.  If anyone in the GTA area is considering working with Mr. Fitness, I doubly recommend it.  He is virtually a miracle worker.

It's not all up to the trainer, of course.  I work out 6 days a week - - only one of those days with Mr. Fitness - - and I have been really working hard to control my snacking (other than on Oscar night, of course).  It takes both of us to whip me into shape - - the trainer can't do it all by himself if I'm not motivated to change.  But I have to tell you - - it feels so much easier working with the trainer, because now I have a structure to my work, and I see that there is a point to it all.  And that point, kids, is sexy arms. ;-)

I'm not ready for bikini season yet, but tank tops may make an appearance.  ;-)

Seeing some progress

I have been very disciplined this month and have been trying to adopt a more consistently zen-like approach to my workouts and weight loss.  I say "trying" because I am more zen-like on some days than others.

On the plus side, I have virtually entirely stopped unrecorded snacking, and where/when I do snack, it is generally in moderation and within plan.  That's a huge win for me after the unbridled snacking I did in December. 

I have also been very disciplined with my workouts, doing my combination of HIIT elliptical sessions with longer "straight" elliptical workouts after my weekly sessions with Mr. Fitness (the personal trainer). I have also been doing a second weight session on my own, using the workouts Mr. Fitness has set up for me.  I am sure that I don't push myself quite as hard when it is just me, but I am pushing enough that I feel it the next day, which is a good thing.

All of this hard work is gradually paying results.  I am definitely seeing some improvement to my overall tone, and I can't wait until next week when I do my month-end measurements again.  I am certain that I will have continued to lose inches, because it's visible even to me.  My shoulders, stomach and legs in particular have been noticeably more toned recently.  Yippee!

I am also seeing definite improvements in my strength and stamina as well as my balance and coordination.  The first time Mr. Fitness and I worked together I kept falling over and lurching into things when he wanted me to stand on one foot or balance a particular way.  Don't get me wrong - - I still lurch and look as coordinated as a Clydesdale on ice many times - - but I am ever so slowly seeing improvement.  I only lurch around and stumble every second time now, rather than every single time.

One thing I have really noticed recently is how dramatically weaker my left arm is than my right due to the carpal tunnel on that side.  We were doing "21s" (bicep curls in 3x7-count variations) during my last session with Mr. Fitness, and on the full bicep curls I could barely raise the dumbbell with my left arm.  The right arm - - no problem.  The left - - weak as a noodle.  This is very frustrating, but apparently not uncommon.

Although the workouts have been going well, it has been challenging to keep my positive attitude when the weight loss has come so slowly.  I saw the usual "Ladytime" gain of 3 pounds of water and bloating at the usual time of month, and it took me 2 weeks of rigid discipline and fierce determination to get those pounds off and to see even trivial net losses.  Given how disciplined I have been with my food consumption and how hard I was working out, I find it difficult to keep from getting frustrated at times when the scale resolutely sticks above where I want it - - even when I know that the scale will come down eventually. 

But come down, the weight has, bit by bit.  I really don't mind if the weight comes off slowly or even plateaus if my measurements are changing, because I know that Mr. Fitness is helping me to develop my muscle tone and strength.  But until the end of the month I will not have definitive proof, so I will just have to be patient and keep plugging away.

On a related note, Mr. Fitness was like a kid in a candy store when he saw all my new workout equipment, and he immediately began integrating it into our sessions.  Now that was motivating!  Not to mention fun - - some of the things we do don't even feel like working out (like a lot of the medicine ball work we do), but I know they're doing good things.  That is a bonus I had not anticipated.  The gym equipment and the investment in a personal trainer has been worth every dollar to me, because I am doing things I never thought possible thanks to the structured and supervised workouts with the weights.  90 pound bench press?  Never thought I would do that.  80 pound deadlift?  Not a problem, as it happens.  And I am only going to get stronger from here.  I like that.  Scratch that.  I love that. 

So the net of it is that I can't wait to measure myself this week so I can get some positive reinforcement for all my hard work.  But I like what I am seeing so far, and I can't wait to see where I will go with this. 

Another 2.5 pounds down ... again

Whoof!  Mr. Fitness kicked my butt last night.  We did a pull session and worked some muscles I have never felt before.  This morning I could really feel the workout in my back (we were working some bent over rows) and my arms (thank you, shoulder raises). 

But it is all for the good - - this morning when I hopped on the scale I was back down to 198 pounds, which is a loss of 2.5 pounds from my previous reading, and 9 pounds down since I restarted after Christmas. 

Although this is territory I have visited time and time - and time - again, I am gradually developing better habits and my work with Mr. Fitness is paying dividends.  No longer can I simply coast through workouts - - I push myself with high intensity workouts and put myself in the hands of a trainer who legitimately challenges me each week.  And with Mr. Fitness having uploaded my workout plans to Trainerize, I can push myself on my own (almost) as hard as he does.  This makes me happy.

I will measure myself tomorrow and I think I will see some changes to my body, as I am noticing some of my saddlebag action is already trimming down.  I cannot recommend having a personal trainer enough - - he has really helped me to shift gears and get some momentum behind my weight loss.

I am frustrated that this is essentially the third time that I have lost the same weight (this go-round, at least).  I first got here in the summer of 2013, then again when I was starting fresh after beginning my new job and now again, recommitting after a December debauch for the record books. 

Each time it is the eating that gets me - - I fall back into old habits, or start to get complacent and think that "I can have this handful of M&Ms" (trick: it's never just 1 handful), or "I lost weight this week so I can have a bunch of big meals tomorrow" (s sure-fire way to ensure that the loss is immediately wiped out).

My recent US trip has given me hope that I can enjoy restaurant food - - including desserts - - while still maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  The key for me seems to be to religiously log my food and to stick to the recommended portions, even if it means leaving food on the plate.  I didn't snack during the trip either, which helps immensely.

So another month is shortly to be in the books.  Today is a little bit special because this weekend marks 3 full years since I began this journey to lifestyle change.  3 years, and 135.9 pounds down, I am still learning and still seeing positive changes.   Let's see what 2015 holds in store!

Some emotional eating ... and right back on track

The pop factory laid off about 1,800 people over the past two weeks (worldwide), which seemed like an awful lot of people lost their jobs until Target Canada announced last week that they were closing and throwing 18,000 people out onto the street.  Suddenly 1,800 sounded almost reasonable, even though 1,800 is a very high number in and of itself.  Regardless of the scale, restructurings of any kind are scary as hell and very tough - - they are distracting and take focus off the work that needs to get done.  And given that I just started at the pop factory in the spring of 2014, I was feeling especially vulnerable this time.

I found out that I still had a job on Thursday January 8 (!), and for the entire week leading up to that day I had been emotionally eating in a way that was a borderline (if not outright) binge.  I found myself eating candy at the office and I was almost unable to stop.  It was ridiculous, frankly.  Thank god we found out about our department when we did, because another week of that behaviour would have been very tough to recover from. 

Unfortunately, one of my team mates (and close neighbors on the seating plan) lost her job in the restructuring, so our team did not escape Scot-free.  With her obvious (and profound) distress at losing her job I felt no small amount of survivor guilt, but fortunately I was able to deal with that without eating my way into a food coma.  Because the impact was no longer directly on me, I was able to approach it less emotionally than when I thought I might lose my job and chocolate was my crutch.  Once the restructuring happened I could be supportive for my friend but I did not need chocolate to do so.

One good thing about that day (and frankly about the only good thing about that day) was that I had an absolutely brutal high intensity interval conditioning session with Mr. Fitness that evening, and it was the perfect way to work through all my stress and anxiety about what had just happened.  All those times I doubted whether workouts help with stress are now officially put to rest.  After the workout I was shaking with exhaustion, dripping with sweat, aching, and content, if you can believe it. The more I work out with the trainer the more I enjoy it, because he pushes me during every session.  I know I will see results from this work because there is no way that my body can get used to anything - - as soon as I think it is getting easier, Mr. Fitness adds new elements to kick up the program.  Bastard (just kidding - Mr. Fitness is a lovely man and I am pretty sure his parents were married).

Another good thing about that week is that even though my mouth would not stay shut (!), I was working out hard every day.  Even better, the day after the restructuring I was suddenly and completely able to ignore all temptation or desire to snack.  It was as if a switch had flipped in my head.  The firings were over, I still had my job, and it was time to take care of business.  My brain literally got back in gear and I was immediately focused on healthy eating and my workouts.  And I haven't had any overwhelming desire to snack since.  Strange.

The net result: I put on several pounds the week of the restructuring.  After a couple of sessions with my personal trainer and two weeks of consistent hard workouts, I am now back down to a weight that is 2.7 pounds lower than before the restructuring.  I am still about 10 or 11 pounds higher than my lowest recent weight (before Christmas), but I am on a great program right now that is pushing me and I am staying on track much more than I am off plan. 

I find that  being able to track my workouts (both alone and with the personal trainer) on the Trainerize web app is very motivating, and this has especially helped me keep on track over the past couple of challenging weeks.

I have always loved tracking my workouts and my progress, and this program combines both of these things together.  Mr. Fitness accesses the interface to check on my progress, and he absolutely knows when I have been following the program and when I have been doing the workouts he set up for me.  I like this because it helps keep me accountable. 

And because the trainer knows when I have done a workout and what I have done, he knows when and how to bump up the next workout.  For example this week in my "push" conditioning session we added dips and incline bench presses.  It turns out I absolutely suck at dips, but next time I try them I will be better.  My squats were better this week than last week, and they will be even better next week.  Progress. 

I am travelling and at offsites most of this coming week, so it will be a very trying week that will challenge my discipline.  Monday will be back to back meetings followed by 2 days in senior leadership meetings with an obligatory evening dinner/event, then a full day planning meeting, then travelling to Boston and Hartford to visit a couple of our production facilities from Friday to the following Tuesday.  On the next day I have to spend the day in London Ontario teaching a class at the law school - - including an obligatory lunch with the other teachers. 

So it looks like a week and a half of hotel food, restaurant food, conference meals, and (hopefully) hotel gyms.  It looks like I will not be able to meet with the personal trainer this week due to the schedule from hell, but at least I can keep up on my program using hotel facilities as much as I can. 

Personal trainers work in a variety of ways...

As you know, I have been working with a personal trainer (aka "Mr. Fitness") since shortly before Christmas.  Although Mr. Fitness is a trained homeopath, that's not really my thing and I am working with him solely for the personal training.  This has been good for me on a variety of levels.

First and foremost, Mr. Fitness is kicking my ass.  So far he has set up a "pull" workout and a "push" workout, and he has hinted at an "absolutely killer conditioning workout" for next week [sidebar: I really need to teach Mr. Fitness about foreshadowing].  Each of the workouts have pushed me physically to the point where I feel their effects for a couple of days.  I am using new equipment (like my new kettle bells) and using some of my old equipment (like my balance ball) in new ways. 

He is also teaching me proper technique, something I have been lacking in my solo workouts, and he has introduced me to high intensity interval training, which I had never tried before.  At the very least he has shaken me out of my routine and taught me new skills, which can only benefit me in the long term.

But there's another benefit to hiring a trainer - - accountability.  Mr. Fitness has set up my routines in a convenient app and web interface called Trainerize, and I can not only see what I am doing at a glance, so can Mr. Fitness.  Knowing that Mr. Fitness will know if I have been skipping workouts motivates me to do workouts when I would otherwise be tempted to shirk. 

This is the toughest time - - after I am getting back into things, but with the sodium and bad habit hangovers from the holidays still lingering.  My work routine has been irregular too with the holidays, which doesn't help.  Things are slowly getting back to normal, and by the end of next week I will be back into a more comfortable rhythm.  Hopefully...!

But for now things are still a challenge, and it is a battle of wills not to snack all day every day, and to get my workouts done (especially if I don't do them first thing in the morning).  Having accountability to an external source like Mr. Fitness helps me to be more accountable to myself. 

Today is a classic example.  The Nerd and I got up early thinking that we would have to drive out of town to bring fish from the Market to the Matriarch, who has been unable to come downtown for several weeks.  Because a storm was forecast, we didn't want to linger but rather get a head start, so I did not work out as soon as I got up (which is my usual pattern).  As it happens the Market was closed (d'oh!), so the shopping trip and visit was cancelled.  And there was me with no workout...

What to do, what to do?  Recently it has been simply too easy to let things slide, skip the workout and try and eat below my calorie limit.  There's nothing inherently wrong in that, but it undermines the discipline of the routine that I am trying to re-establish, because the routine involves regular workouts. 

I was still struggling with this moral dilemma when I remembered that Mr. Fitness sees when I check in on the Trainerize interface.  Whups!  Time to get on the elliptical and bang out a HIIT cardio workout.  So I did that, and now I feel great for having worked out.  Moral dilemma resolved.

Week 1 of the new routine is in the books, and I am shedding the water weight from all the sodium I consumed over the holidays. 

Future weeks will not show such dramatic losses, but it's gratifying to get this jump start regardless.

I took my measurements last week when I was starting out, and I also took another set of photos, but since it has only been a week there is really nothing to see in the way of difference yet.  We'll see where things stand after a full month of Mr. Fitness kicking my ass - - what is left of it!

*dusts self off*

Photo by Patrick Dockens, licensed CC-BY-NC-ND

As I always say, it's not how many times you fall down, it's how many times you get back up.  Consider this me getting up and dusting myself off.  Again.

December well and truly kicked my progress in its proverbial ass.  The combination of 5 lunches out, 6 dinner parties, 3 large family festive meals, numerous cocktail hours, and eating approximately all of the sugar cookies, gingerbread cookies, chocolates, and bourbon balls (i.e. literally dozens of these damn things) have led to me being a full 17.1 pounds higher than I was at my lowest before the holidays.  This puts me essentially where I was last year at this time strangely enough, so in a twisted way it's a kind of maintenance.  Bad maintenance, but maintenance nonetheless.

Let that be a lesson for me.  As if I didn't already know this (duh!), December's debauchery has taught me that if I simply eat whatever I want whenever I want, and if I combine this with skipping workouts for a week and a half in a row, I will put on weight.  I know, I know, this is not exactly earth shattering news.  Some would call it "glaringly obvious".  Some would also ask "didn't you learn this the last time you went off the plan"?  Sometimes it's nice to be reminded, however, especially when one is a slow learner.

Simply put, I allowed myself to get lazy and undisciplined this month, and I gave myself permission to break routine.  By doing so, I also gave myself permission to gain 17 pounds.  That's my choice, and now I get to deal with the consequences of my choice. 

I am not despondent about this little setback.  I know it's hard to look at 17 pounds as a "setback", but it's really only that.  Now that the holidays are over I have Mr. Fitness coming over to kick my ass tomorrow night in a return to my weekly sessions with the personal trainer.  The Nerd and I have recommitted to eating healthy and have thrown out all the leftover holiday chocolates that we received at Christmas.  I worked out this morning (for the first time in more than a week - gack!), and I received wonderful new workout clothes and 2 kettle bells (20 lb and 25 lb) for Christmas.  I feel reinvigorated and ready to get back into my healthy routine.  As part of this recommitment, I have restarted my MyFitnessPal calculator to my current weight (!) and reset my "days logged in" tracker to 1 - - although I was logging in during December, I was barely tracking a fraction of all the food I was consuming, so it's really day 1 of the new routine.

The key to success of course is to shut my piehole.  As in, to stop snacking on all the things.  We have cleared out all of the junk food from the house and by the time I next set foot in the office I will have 4 days of healthy balanced eating and workouts under my belt to help get me over the initial craving stage while my body readjusts to healthy calorie levels.

I am actually quite looking forward to seeing how my body changes and gets stronger with the personal trainer.  I will take a "before" photo tomorrow and do measurements to set the starting baseline, and over the coming months I will see what happens as I push myself and improve my fitness with the new routines Mr. Fitness will show me.

My objective is simple: lose the final 40 pounds by this time next year.  Since I am setting this goal before New Year's Eve it does not count as a resolution - - it is merely a redefined goal.   The distinction may seem a fine one, but it is critical because most people do not follow through on their resolutions.  Goals, however, are a different story.  And this one is totally attainable - - I have a great support network and a solid plan along with the resources to accomplish it.

So let's face 2015 recharged and ready for the challenge!  Bring it on!

Breaking new territory - - had my first session with a personal trainer

A few things combined for this new step in my fitness training. 


The first is that this month I have been systematically eating all the bad (yet delicious!) foods, like the Nerd's bourbon balls and sugar cookies, and all the baking that people have been bringing into the office.  When you combine the holiday baking with the sheer volume of social engagements - - festive lunches, dinners with friends, coffee dates, and potlucks, it's a wonder that I can still fit into any of my clothes. 


Now that I have released the Kraken, as it were, it will take about a week of eating properly without snacking to get my cravings back under control.  One day at a time will be the key. 


The second and bigger step is that I have hired a personal trainer.  I received a small inheritance from my grandmother, and rather than blowing it all on hookers and cocaine I thought I would actually turn it into a long term positive by taking the next step in my fitness and hiring a trainer. 


I have been working out on my own for almost 3 years now and I have lost 144 pounds (well, at least I had before blowing my brains out on cookies and lunches this month!).  But it is too easy for me to get settled into comfortable routines, and even tools like the heart rate monitor that are intended to help me push myself only can go so far.  Plus, as a self-taught exerciser, I have all the bad technique of the amateur, and no one to correct me.


As it happens, one of the marketers here at the Company is married to a personal trainer.  I looked him up and he seemed reasonable, so I booked him to come in and meet me last week at my office.  He was just as reasonable in person, so I booked a session. 


I was terrified about the whole thing, because what if he asked me to do things I couldn't physically do?  What if he pushed me so hard I threw up?  What if we just didn't work together well?  And, most concerning for me and my dark subconscious, what if he laughed at me?


Of course those of you who have trainers will know that all of my concerns were groundless - - the trainer (aka "Mr. Fitness") listened when I was having problems with a particular exercise and changed up the routine, he worked within my limits and pushed me, but not to the point of injury or projectile vomiting, and he did not laugh even a little bit.  The Nerd laughed at my struggles to do sit-ups whilst punching Mr. Fitness' hands, but I only found out about that this morning, and anyways, the Nerd is entitled to tease me. 


Mr. Fitness and I had discussed my cardio workouts last week and he recommended that I try high intensity interval training, which I began incorporating into my routine this week.  My pattern right now is a 5 minute gentle warm up followed by 10 sets of 30 seconds at high intensity (going around 220-230 strides/minute "as if being chased by a lion") followed by 60 seconds of low intensity.  These workouts are shorter - around 20-25 minutes rather than 30-45 - so  I don't get the same calorie burn as my previous elliptical work, but they certainly get my heart rate up and push my body. 


I did a HIIT session on the elliptical right before Mr. Fitness arrived, so I was warmed up and ready to go when he got there.  While that worked pretty well as far as a warm up, my legs did get wobbly later in my session so I might not go full HIIT on my personal trainer days in the future, just to make sure I have legs left for the actual training bit. 


We did pushing work last night, with bench presses, nose crushers, and shoulder raises alternated with swinging a kettle bell between my legs and up to chest height along with some squats.  We finished with some core work on the Swiss ball, sit-ups where I hit Mr. Trainer's hands as I came up, and then some jab/cross/duck routines (my favourite part of the whole night) with the boxing gloves and target pads. 


I was well and truly thrashed after my workout and I learned a lot about technique (especially on the squats and shoulder raises which I have apparently been doing completely wrong for years), and overall I had a good time so I consider it money well spent.  With the holidays we won't be able to meet again until the 30th, but that may be the interval I need to recover from last night's ass kicking!