Move Complete - Settling Back Into Routine

Whew!  At long last, after what felt like an interminable period of time, the move is complete.  The boxes are unpacked.  The clothes are put away.  The usual patterns of daily living have been picked up again.  And not a moment too soon, I tell you!

When last we spoke I was just recovering from the end of the move.  I had managed to put on a ridiculous amount of weight, and ballooned up to 199 pounds (and more!) after all of my move-induced emotional eating and take out food consumption.  Last Sunday I got back on the path to righteousness by religiously tracking my food and engaging in solid exercise. 

The rest of the week was more of the same.  I tracked my food and I worked out as is my custom.  Mr. Fitness came by on Thursday to kick my ass with the dreaded high intensity interval workout - which I loathe...but still managed to complete.  Most importantly of all, I did not snack all week.  This sounds like such a little thing, but I know that the unbridled snacking is what killed me over the past month or so.  Because let me tell you, I can snack like a m-f-.  Some people are good at math, I am good at snacking. 

So this week was a big test of my ability to get back on track.  I have to tell you that the first day back at the office (the land of temptation) I was white knuckling it all day in an attempt to keep from snacking.  When I left the office to go home, I was in part fleeing all that temptation.  But it worked - I remained snack-free all day.  The next day was just a little bit easier, and the day after that was easier still.  By Thursday I wasn't even tempted by the chocolate covered almonds that one of my coworkers brought into our marketing approval meeting.  Well, not more than normally tempted - I am human after all - but it was comparatively easy to stand firm and avoid the treats. 

Friday I started strong, but then lost focus a few hours into our housewarming party.  I kept with soft drinks, mostly, rather than alcoholic beverages, which helped a lot.  But by the end of the night I went a bit off the rails and snacked my face off on the delicious party food.  It was all delicious, but full of sodium and I am sure all sorts of bad things.  However because I own my choices I tracked it, to an extent at least, by adding 600 calories to my food log for Friday night.  It may have been more, it may have been less, but that's as good an estimate as any.  The key thing is that I tracked it and owned it, which is critical - - my snacking binges of the last month went largely untracked. 

I weighed myself Friday morning (pre-party, thank god) and lo and behold after a week of sticking to my plan, working out, and not snacking, I lost 1.5 pounds.  I am back down to 197.5 pounds (again), and feeling pretty good.

A new wrinkle to my routine now is that I weigh myself before working out.  So that 197.5 is an honest weight, prior to any sweating-induced water loss.  I previously always weighed myself after my workouts so as to get to the lowest possible number.  This way feels a bit more honest - it's my walking around weight, after all. 

All in all it was a good week.  I saw positive progress back into my routine, I was able to resist temptation at the office, and our house held up to the housewarming party.

Here are some photos of the place (minus party-goers, of course):

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I really enjoy discovering the routines and flow of this house.  Our neighbours are wonderful, and I actually had a really nice time at our housewarming for the street last night.  

And now it is back to continue these routines.  I have some laundry on the go and I will steal some time to do a bit of weaving.  Ahhhhh....

6 months with the personal trainer (with photos)

Time sure flies when you are pushing yourself to work out every day.  And by "flies", I mean, of course, "passes predictably with the rotation of the earth around the sun". 

It has snuck up on me, but believe it or not it has been 6 full months that I have been working with the personal trainer, Mr. Fitness.  We have had 23 sessions in that time and the only missing sessions have been planned in advance around our respective holidays - - I am pleased to say that I have yet to cancel one of our workouts, no matter how little I look forward to some of them (high intensity intervals, I'm looking at you!).

My objective in working with the trainer was to help me break through that plateau that had me trapped cycling in the 200-210 pound range, and to help me to be stronger and more toned.

On a purely numerical level, we have achieved positive results.  I have lost more than 20 pounds since I began working with the trainer (although I confess to giving up some of these losses thanks to my recent trip to PEI with the Nerd).  Rather than the low 200s, the 180s are now my easy set point.  Getting lower will take still more discipline and work, but it is very achievable given the results I have seen so far.

As for my measurements, these appear to be stabilizing.  With the trainer I have lost around 12", to bring me down to a size 12-14 (in pants, skirts and dresses) and a M (in shirts and tops).  I still struggle with my own self-image as a "big girl" so I find it difficult to believe that a size medium top will actually fit me, but time and time again when I chicken out and default to the large I discover that those tops are too big for me.  Eventually I will learn to accept the reality that I am a size medium.  In the meantime this means that the Nerd and I actually wear the same size tops, so I can steal his clothes.  Tee hee.

The body shape is where I see the most difference:

My biggest frustration at this point is with my loose skin on my arms and belly.  Sadly, there are sequellae to being super-obese, and loose skin is one of them.  It is not ridiculous and obvious like some people experience - - I don't have giant flaps of skin hanging everywhere - - but there is definitely excess tissue making it impossible to tone as much as some other people.  I am very happy with the tone that I do have, though, and where I am less toned, like my belly, I like the suggestion of tone, assuming that is the best result I will see. 

Some nice changes I have noticed since I first began working out: I enjoy wearing colour more than I did before.  Although I still wear an inordinate amount of black, that's more because it's a very flexible colour for a professional wardrobe rather than the camouflage that it used to be.  I now preferentially seek colour for outfits, and this is a nice thing.  I am embracing colour as I come out of my shell with my weight loss. 

Another change: I do not dread body hugging clothing any more, and in fact I am more likely to go out of the house in yoga pants and an exercise top than ever before.  When I was heavier I believed in the magic of layers, which is poor magic at best.  Almost no one looks thinner by adding layers, but that it the delusion under which I laboured when I was heavier.  Eventually I will feel confident when I wear workout clothes out of doors, but for now I am glad to have the option. 

Another, more profound change: I am no longer automatically the biggest person in the room.  In fact, I am just as likely to be considered "average".  This by itself gives me confidence because I know that people are much less likely to be judging me by my food choices or making assumptions about my intelligence or work ethic because of my weight (sadly, this is a thing that happens, and happened to me).  Sure, there are still jerks out there, but as a more stereotypically "normal" looking person I can blend into the background in a way that I never could when I was heavier. 

A friend said last night that I am the same person I was when I was heavier, I just look different on the outside - - my essential inner core remains the same.  This is true.  But people make so many judgments on the outer package in this world that even though I am the same person, I am viewed differently.  People at the office are surprised to look at photos of me from my heavier days because they do not associate me with "a fat person".  News flash: I was just a "person" - - the weight was not the defining factor.  Now, at least, it is less of a distraction.

So six months in with Mr. Fitness and things are progressing nicely.  I am pleased with my results and don't see changing my routine anytime soon.  Our Thursday grueling workouts will continue, holidays and vacations permitting.

Here's a gratuitious photo from our holiday in PEI, taken in front of the Confederation Bridge:

15 months and 1.5 pounds ... or 51.3 pounds down

Achievement unlocked!  I hit a significant milestone this morning, weighing in at 184.9 pounds, which: i) brings me within 20 pounds of my goal; ii) makes me a middleweight for the first time in 15 years (and potentially a "Rumbleweight" welter, depending on how much Johnson lets himself go).  Even more significant, my weigh in this morning marks the successful end of a 15 month fight to lose the weight gained from not one but two major backslides, one when I was job hunting and hating my work and one at Christmas last year when I gave myself permission to eat All The Food (although I must tell you, the Nerd's sugar cookies are delicious). 

All in all I put on - and lost - and regained - and relost 51.3 pounds over these 15 months.  But now for the first time in 15 months I am seeing a weight on the scale that is lower than before.  This morning, I am finally back to losing weight rather than relosing weight I had only recently lost .  I am breaking new weight loss records, in other words. 

To date I have lost 149 pounds (counting linearly from what I weighed in January 2012), which brings me to within 20 pounds of my ultimate goal of 165.  The last time I weighed this much/little was in late 2000 or early 2001, right after I had starved my way to a normal weight and then immediately resumed my poor eating habits and sedentary lifestyle.  Needless to say, with my eating habits and compete lack of exercise I did not retain my losses, and by spring of 2002 I had put on more than 75 pounds from my low.

This is less likely to happen now for a few reasons.  First, my eating habits have seriously evolved over the past 3 years since I have begun working on this lifestyle change.  I understand portion control, I focus on drinking enough water in a day, and I do not binge eat as long or as frequently as I used to.  I also eat more fruit and vegetables and much less cheese and carbs than I used to.  That's not to say that I don't love cheese and carbs, but I just don't make them the focus of every course of every meal like I used to.

Second, my exercise habits have dramatically changed.  I enjoy the time on the elliptical in the morning, and regular exercise is now just a normal part of my day, rather than a tedious chore to be endured.  I like staying active, and I enjoy being able to walk around the city with the Nerd. 

Third, and most importantly, I have a supportive helpmate in the Nerd who keeps cooking us delicious, healthy meals and doesn't try and undermine me by bringing irresistible treats into the house.  I do not exaggerate when I say that I could not have achieved this without his support and encouragement. 

Finally, I am gradually adopting a more zen-like approach to weight loss.  I understand that some months my body simply chooses to retain all the water and I will put on weight for no apparent reason.  And some months I will crave snacks more than others.  No matter, though - - I understand at a very basic level now that putting on a pound or two - or five or ten - is not the end of the world just as long as I get my head back into my program and focus on eating well and exercising regularly. 

Case in point was my recent trip to the Mothership in Atlanta.  I enjoyed many meals out and sampled a variety of wonderful southern cooking including ribs, pimento cheese, fried chicken and collard greens and banana pudding.  I ate wayyyyy over my normal calories during that trip and came back to Toronto about 8 pounds higher than when I had left.  Rather than getting despondent however, I knew that much of this would be sodium-induced water weight that would come off quickly once I got back into my routine.  And the weight that did not come off quickly would come off slowly, but it would still come off.

The first time I lost a significant amount of weight (back in 2000) I did not have this certainty.  Each pound was a struggle, and when my weight started creeping up again once I resumed my poor eating habits and stopped exercising (i.e. almost immediately), it felt like I could never take the weight off again.  The task felt overwhelming, and therefore it quickly became overwhelming.  I can tell you from brutal - and repeated - experience that it is much easier to lose 5 or even 10 pounds than it is to lose 50 or 100 pounds. 

So this morning I weighed 184.9 pounds.  19.9 pounds to go until I reach my goal weight.  I expect than my target weight zone will end up being 165 pounds +/- 5 pounds, and as long as I keep within this range, all will be well.  We'll see how it goes. 

Onward and downward!

20 Pounds Down with the Personal Trainer

My work with Mr. Fitness continues to pay dividends.  In all honesty, getting a personal trainer has been the second-best fitness decision I have ever made, second only to my initial decision to start exercising in the first place. 

Last month I felt a bit like I was treading water in that although I was confident that my hard work would eventually pay off and I was losing weight, it was coming off in dribs and drabs.  I suspected that I was in for a major loss after I passed that little plateau and I was right - - this month has seen some dramatic losses.

All in all I have lost 20 pounds under Mr. Fitness' tutelage since the beginning of the year, which is just amazing.  My body fat has come down as well, directionally.

Consider how far I have come - - when I started working out my BMI was a whopping 49.3.  Think about that for a moment.  It took me months of working out to lose 63 pounds which lowered my weight just enough that my BMI would even register on most charts, which typically only go up to 40 BMI.  Now my BMI is under 28, and on the way to a normal 25, eventually.

As you can see from this chart, above, this is the third time that I have reached this weight zone since I began to get fit back in 2012.  The first time was in the summer and fall of 2013, and then again in November 2014 and now again, just recently.  That zone from 193-203 has proven to be my achilles heel, time and time and time again.

This is a very dangerous place for me because I am getting close enough to my goal that it is within reach, but I am still far enough away that it will take a lot of work to get there.  In the past I have found ways to sabotage myself, mostly by giving myself permission to rest on my laurels and break discipline for a day or two...which turns into a week or two...which turns into 20 or 30 pounds.  After all, it's just so damn easy to say "I've done so well this week and lost so much, I deserve a treat day"...  Trust me when I say that as a professional binge eater* [*retired], I can undo in one day of massive eating what has taken literally weeks of work to accomplish.  Talk about demoralizing.

This week had the potential to set me off on that bad path again.  A project at work was facing some challenges that required me to devote most of my week to putting out fires, with a lot of meetings with senior management and stressful conversations.  Lots of work that completely derailed my usual load of work, in other words, so it has been a week that almost made me flashback to the days at the old law firm, when I would not leave until 9-10 pm at night on a regular basis. 

At one point on Tuesday after yet another issue popped up on this project I caught myself eyeing the candy machine in my office with malice aforethought.  I was seconds away from letting loose when I decided to look at my weight loss progress graph (the one you see above).  It was like having a bucket of cold water dumped on my head - - I immediately stopped craving chocolate because I didn't want to undo all of that progress I had worked so hard for.  This in itself was a major win.

Mr. Fitness came over to kick my ass on Tuesday as well, so it was the perfect end to a stressful day - - we lifted things and put them down and I balanced more than I previously had and I bench pressed 90 pounds (a new record for me) and I sweated out all those negative feelings.  I don't know if I got any endorphins out of my training session, but I sure as hell felt better afterwards.  And the best thing was that I was seriously looking forward to working out with Mr. Fitness, because a hard workout was exactly what I needed to help me deal with the stress of that week.  And I was right - - it was just what the doctor ordered.

Which was important, because Wednesday I found out that I was getting a new boss, someone who up to that day had been my nominal peer.  This lawyer is senior to me in the company, having joined about 4 years ago, and he is slightly senior to me in legal experience as well - - he was the year ahead of me in law school.  He is a bright and extremely competent lawyer with excellent judgment and a solid skill set, and he has earned the respect of the bottling organization with whom he does the bulk of his work.  I have no doubt that he has the ability to succeed as the new VP and General Counsel of the pop factory here in Canada.

But... I am mourning the fact that I am losing (in a way) the best boss that I have ever had.  I had such an immediate and easy rapport with my boss that it made not only my job easier, but was a large measure of why I enjoyed coming to work every day.  Suffice it to say that I do not have the same easy rapport with my new boss, who is as unlike me in every way as my old boss was similar.

To be clear, my old boss is not being fired or retiring - - he is moving back to the mother ship in Atlanta and he will still be available to counsel and mentor me from there, just as he has done here in Toronto.  That fact alone is helping to keep me positive through this transition, which will be difficult enough.

The biggest challenge is that I will need to discover, together with my new boss, how we communicate and work together as boss-direct report where previously we had been peer-peer.  There will be some changes, for sure, but lots of opportunity for me, so I am looking forward to it, in a way.

But still, it rocked my world for a couple of days, and definitely set me back on my heels.  It would have been so completely easy - and understandable - for me to go out, get drunk, and eat all the food.  But I didn't.  I indulged in a little retail therapy, which in a way helped keep me on track because I bought a dress and a suit in a slightly smaller size - - I can't eat all the nachos and still fit into that nice size 12 dress, nosir!

So it's been a busy week just chock full of stress.  Next week is shaping up just as challenging, as I will be travelling to Atlanta for the first time to meet with the senior legal team down there - - people who are important to impress, in other words.  No stress there, nope!  I am totally bringing my workout clothes with me so that I can work out in the hotel gym, that's for damn sure.

Another 2.5 pounds down ... again

Whoof!  Mr. Fitness kicked my butt last night.  We did a pull session and worked some muscles I have never felt before.  This morning I could really feel the workout in my back (we were working some bent over rows) and my arms (thank you, shoulder raises). 

But it is all for the good - - this morning when I hopped on the scale I was back down to 198 pounds, which is a loss of 2.5 pounds from my previous reading, and 9 pounds down since I restarted after Christmas. 

Although this is territory I have visited time and time - and time - again, I am gradually developing better habits and my work with Mr. Fitness is paying dividends.  No longer can I simply coast through workouts - - I push myself with high intensity workouts and put myself in the hands of a trainer who legitimately challenges me each week.  And with Mr. Fitness having uploaded my workout plans to Trainerize, I can push myself on my own (almost) as hard as he does.  This makes me happy.

I will measure myself tomorrow and I think I will see some changes to my body, as I am noticing some of my saddlebag action is already trimming down.  I cannot recommend having a personal trainer enough - - he has really helped me to shift gears and get some momentum behind my weight loss.

I am frustrated that this is essentially the third time that I have lost the same weight (this go-round, at least).  I first got here in the summer of 2013, then again when I was starting fresh after beginning my new job and now again, recommitting after a December debauch for the record books. 

Each time it is the eating that gets me - - I fall back into old habits, or start to get complacent and think that "I can have this handful of M&Ms" (trick: it's never just 1 handful), or "I lost weight this week so I can have a bunch of big meals tomorrow" (s sure-fire way to ensure that the loss is immediately wiped out).

My recent US trip has given me hope that I can enjoy restaurant food - - including desserts - - while still maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  The key for me seems to be to religiously log my food and to stick to the recommended portions, even if it means leaving food on the plate.  I didn't snack during the trip either, which helps immensely.

So another month is shortly to be in the books.  Today is a little bit special because this weekend marks 3 full years since I began this journey to lifestyle change.  3 years, and 135.9 pounds down, I am still learning and still seeing positive changes.   Let's see what 2015 holds in store!

Break from routine - challenge accepted!

The last couple of weeks have been simply crazy for me.  My comfortable routine of workouts, healthy, delicious meals, and quality time with the Nerd were transformed by a series of conferences and business trips.

Last week I had two days of leadership conferences at a hotel north of the city, complete with buffet breakfasts and lunches and a sit down dinner (the first night) and a cocktail party (the second night).  Not to mention the numerous coffee breaks full of pastries, cookies, and full size chocolate bars that they were passing around.  I was able to work out at home each morning, but I was exhausted by the end of each day - - in part because of the full schedule and in part because of the challenge of making sensible food choices and the effort of distracting myself when snack time came around.  (!)

The day after this two day conference I had - you guessed it - another full day conference, this time at a downtown hotel that I could walk to from my apartment.  Another day, another buffet breakfast and lunch, and another gauntlet of cookies at the break to avoid. 

Right after this conference I had to jump on a plane to go to Boston so that I could attend at a couple of our New England production plants.  This trip spanned Thursday night through Monday afternoon, and involved a hotel stay over the weekend, plus two take-out lunches eaten at the plants and one (delightful) dinner out with friends at Legal Seafood. 

The Nerd and I drove back to Toronto from Boston on Monday and survived yet another fast food meal and snack on the way home.

I had one entire day back in the office (largely spent trying desperately to catch up on work) and then today I was back at it, with a class to teach out of town that involved a 2-hour train trip (each way), train food and lunch at an Italian restaurant with the other teachers. 

All in all, these past couple of weeks have been a series of temptations interspersed with stressful work meetings and broken routines.  On the good side, I have learned a few things along the way:

1. Buffet breakfasts can be my friend, especially when they have a good supply of proteins.  I stocked up on eggs, bacon and sausages with fruit and coffee most mornings, and managed to avoid the french toast, waffles, pancakes, hash browns, croissants, muffins, bagels, and danishes on offer.  By focusing on protein (even slightly higher in sodium protein) and avoiding the carbs I felt great all day and didn't crave the cookies and muffins on offer at the breaks.  I was impressed with how many carbs the typical breakfast buffet features, especially when I had to avoid them. 

2. Buffet lunches can be my friend, especially when I focus on filling my plate with vegetables and concentrate on eating only partial pieces of the main course (usually something cheese covered) to ensure that I was only eating one serving.  Added bonus - - the extra vegetables took me a long time to eat so there was no time to linger over dessert.

3. Avoiding desserts and high carb/high sugar snacks when I am by myself is critical.  I could have seriously gone off the rails with all the snacks on offer at each conference, and only my refusing to make eye contact with any of the delicious snacks could I escape break time unscathed.

4. Hotel gyms are a great tool.  There was a time a few years ago, that I would never have dreamed of setting foot in a hotel gym.  On this trip to the US not only did I set foot in the gym, I made it a regular part of my daily routine.  The only days I did not work out at the hotel gym were my travel days.  When I did work out, I took advantage of the facilities to use machines I don't have at home, and to go for swims in the pool.  I was sad to leave when we did, frankly, because I was kind of looking forward to another swim in the pool.

5. I can enjoy decadent foods (like Parmesan fries or desserts) in moderation, which in my case meant sharing them with the Nerd.  Sharing these treats kept me from feeling deprived, but also took what would have been a major calorie hit and turned it into something reasonable.  Win-win, I say.

6. Burger King sells salads.  Who knew?  Frankly, I never even considered having a salad at a burger restaurant, but they are a surprisingly practical choice.  Much lower in calories than the Whopper with Cheese that I would normally have ordered, and if not entirely satisfying per se, it was a good meal on the road. 

7. I can leave food on my plate.  Because we were eating so many meals in hotels and restaurants I could not control the portions of many of my meals.  But I could control the portion of what I ate, and that worked very well.  I made a point of tracking my food and considering reasonable serving sizes so that when the meals arrived, I could decide how much of each part to eat - - for example, all of the vegetables, but only a portion of the wild rice or half of a bun on a chickpea burger etc.  This is kind of new to me - - usually I clean my plate and go back for more, so leaving food to ensure I was eating a normal portion was novel.

I took the plunge and weighed myself this morning and after an entire week of hotels, buffets, fast food, and temptation, I was delighted to see that I weighed exactly the same as I did before all of this excitement.  Score one for disciplined eating habits. 

Among my excitement on this recent trip was the fact that the Nerd and I were in Boston ... the day the Snowpocalypse (aka Winter Storm Juno) hit.   Monday morning I was in our Hartford plant when I learned that the Governor was closing the highways at 9 pm, and the rest of our day was spent racing back to Needham (just outside of Boston) so we could quickly check out of our hotel and drive as fast as we could to try and get home ahead of the storm. 

We agreed that if conditions deteriorated to the point that driving was unsafe that we would pull over and check into a hotel for the night, but the Nerd was able to persevere and push through all the way home, fortified with a couple of peanut butter cookies on the way to Buffalo.  We arrived home at 2 am after a 10-hour drive, and although we were both well and truly thrashed the next day, we were home, which is all that mattered. 

Today was my last day off from my routine, at least for a while.  Tomorrow I will do my normal high intensity elliptical workout in the morning, and then I am working out with Mr. Fitness in the evening.  I predict that my ass will be kicked, as usual.  But it will feel soooo gooood when the workout is over, it is almost worth the discomfort. 

*dusts self off*

Photo by Patrick Dockens, licensed CC-BY-NC-ND

As I always say, it's not how many times you fall down, it's how many times you get back up.  Consider this me getting up and dusting myself off.  Again.

December well and truly kicked my progress in its proverbial ass.  The combination of 5 lunches out, 6 dinner parties, 3 large family festive meals, numerous cocktail hours, and eating approximately all of the sugar cookies, gingerbread cookies, chocolates, and bourbon balls (i.e. literally dozens of these damn things) have led to me being a full 17.1 pounds higher than I was at my lowest before the holidays.  This puts me essentially where I was last year at this time strangely enough, so in a twisted way it's a kind of maintenance.  Bad maintenance, but maintenance nonetheless.

Let that be a lesson for me.  As if I didn't already know this (duh!), December's debauchery has taught me that if I simply eat whatever I want whenever I want, and if I combine this with skipping workouts for a week and a half in a row, I will put on weight.  I know, I know, this is not exactly earth shattering news.  Some would call it "glaringly obvious".  Some would also ask "didn't you learn this the last time you went off the plan"?  Sometimes it's nice to be reminded, however, especially when one is a slow learner.

Simply put, I allowed myself to get lazy and undisciplined this month, and I gave myself permission to break routine.  By doing so, I also gave myself permission to gain 17 pounds.  That's my choice, and now I get to deal with the consequences of my choice. 

I am not despondent about this little setback.  I know it's hard to look at 17 pounds as a "setback", but it's really only that.  Now that the holidays are over I have Mr. Fitness coming over to kick my ass tomorrow night in a return to my weekly sessions with the personal trainer.  The Nerd and I have recommitted to eating healthy and have thrown out all the leftover holiday chocolates that we received at Christmas.  I worked out this morning (for the first time in more than a week - gack!), and I received wonderful new workout clothes and 2 kettle bells (20 lb and 25 lb) for Christmas.  I feel reinvigorated and ready to get back into my healthy routine.  As part of this recommitment, I have restarted my MyFitnessPal calculator to my current weight (!) and reset my "days logged in" tracker to 1 - - although I was logging in during December, I was barely tracking a fraction of all the food I was consuming, so it's really day 1 of the new routine.

The key to success of course is to shut my piehole.  As in, to stop snacking on all the things.  We have cleared out all of the junk food from the house and by the time I next set foot in the office I will have 4 days of healthy balanced eating and workouts under my belt to help get me over the initial craving stage while my body readjusts to healthy calorie levels.

I am actually quite looking forward to seeing how my body changes and gets stronger with the personal trainer.  I will take a "before" photo tomorrow and do measurements to set the starting baseline, and over the coming months I will see what happens as I push myself and improve my fitness with the new routines Mr. Fitness will show me.

My objective is simple: lose the final 40 pounds by this time next year.  Since I am setting this goal before New Year's Eve it does not count as a resolution - - it is merely a redefined goal.   The distinction may seem a fine one, but it is critical because most people do not follow through on their resolutions.  Goals, however, are a different story.  And this one is totally attainable - - I have a great support network and a solid plan along with the resources to accomplish it.

So let's face 2015 recharged and ready for the challenge!  Bring it on!

Broke 190 for the first time in a year

It has been a hard-fought past 12 months.  I battled depression and crippling job stress and reverted to all my negative eating behaviours along the way.  It was only when I got my new job that I was able to muster the determination to say: "It stops here.  I can't change the past 12 months, but I can change the next 12".

And I did.  I went back to first principles of what I know worked for me - - tracking my food and pushing my workouts.  Along the way I got back in touch with this whole lifestyle change that I was supposed to be doing (rather than merely losing weight).  That has been perhaps the most profound thing I have discovered in this journey - - it really is all about the lifestyle, stupid.  There ain't no such thing as a quick fix, and negative habits will always generate negative consequences. 

The results have been just what I had hoped - - and more, and less.

The weight is coming off again, and this morning after my workout I weighed in at 189.8 pounds, a number on the scale I have not seen for about a year.  I have also noticed that as I continue along this path (and as I get older) the weight takes more work to lose.  I used to see relatively consistent losses every month.  Now I am seeing punctuated equilibrium: I stay relatively the same for a week or so, then have one week of surprisingly easy losses, then "girl time" adds 4 pounds of gratuitous bloating, then I spend 2 weeks trying to get back to where I was before nature's awesome majesty took my hormones on a ride.  Over the past few months I have seen this pattern repeated over and over again, and I am slowly starting to change my mindset from disappointment if a given week is not lower on the scale to focusing on the longer window of a month.  So although the individual days or weeks (depending on the week) may see frustratingly little weight loss, overall the months are still showing losses, and I am still moving in the right direction.

On an even more positive side, the Nerd and I are slowly starting to transition into more of a maintenance mode rather than a hard core weight loss mode.  I say this not because we do not have weight to lose - - we do - - but because we are starting to make adjustments to make our lifestyle more sustainable in the long term.

For me that means a step change reduction in calories from an average of 1,600 - 1,800 calories per day to trying to keep under my 1,430 calories per day objective (!) without having to eat back all of my exercise calories.  I usually come in somewhere between 1,400 and 1,600 calories a day, and even the difference of 200 calories (on average) per day has had profound results.

Staying under my calorie target organically has allowed me to do things like take additional rest days, or to use long walks as exercise rather than brutally exhausting elliptical workouts, while still losing weight.  I have a more normal life, and that is kind of nice.  As I age I also find it a bit tougher to maintain the intensity of the workout schedule that I used to - - after almost 3 years that kind of work takes its toll on a body.  Mine, in particular.

All of this is in aid of changing me into a person who eats sensibly more often than I do not, and who works out to feel good rather than because she has to.  Don't get me wrong, I still use workouts as a way to enable a good day of food when I know I am going out, but I am trying to focus more on the every day consumption levels as well.  It certainly seems to be working for now.

It is more difficult in many ways than simply jumping on the elliptical, because I have to be so diligent about what is going into my mouth every day, all day.  But in aggregate this approach seems to be working, and even the bake sale day of a thousand rice krispie squares and gingerbread men (omnomnom) did not set me back for long.

I know I am prone to wild mood swings about my weight loss journey, and I am always more optimistic when the weight is coming off easily as it has been this week rather than those weeks when I am doing exactly the same things and the scale is not moving at all, or worse, moves only upwards. 

However I have noticed over the last few months as I have been starting to discover my body's new rhythms that I am more relaxed about the tough weeks because I am more confident that the good weeks will come.  I am gradually becoming more disciplined in my routine, and I am able to be more zen about my progress as a result.

Not that I am zen, exactly, I am only zen-er than previously.  But I will take it, just as I take this new (revisited) milestone of breaking into the 180s.  I have worked hard for this, and I am feeling good.  

Bake Sales Plus Pizza = 3 pounds

I am frustrated with myself this week.  I had been seeing some great progress by sticking to my no-snacking plan and working out diligently, and then the company fundraising bakesale raised its ugly, delicious, chocolate covered head. 

I volunteered to bake (read: the Nerd was voluntold to bake, and I swanned in at the finish to add decorative icing) for the United Way fundraising bakesale. 

I was strong like a rock initially, but we had several items to prepare and each day was a fresh temptation.  By Thursday, the actual day of the bakesale, my defences had almost entirely crumbled away like so many gingerbread crumbs.  Yes, it is true - - I eat like a dog.  Gingerbread Coke bottle mummies, gingerbread skeletons, rice krispie square pumpkins, monster eyeballs (aka chocolate-dipped peanut butter balls) - - nothing escaped me.  And to top it off last night I had pizza for dinner with an old school friend.  Sheesh!

This morning the scale just made laughing noises at me while showing a number a full 3 pounds higher than before the icing-stavaganza.  Ah well.  I am still well below my previous high, and even below 200 pounds, so I have not eaten away all of my hard-fought losses, precisely. 

Today I got right back on the discipline bandwagon and ate sensibly.  Baby steps, people.  1 bad week doesn't set me back entirely.  It is, however, a proper kick in the nuts.  Delicious, chocolate coated nuts though they may be. 

Birthdays always make me take stock

The Earth has traveled around the Sun one more time and I am another year older.  Although it feels as if I aged up all at once, I realize that I have been aging a little bit every day - - the laws of physics will do that.  It just feels like I got old all of a sudden.  I am sure this is due to the Matriarch's not at all endearing habit of considering me the next year's age every year in January.  This could also be why I am so bad at math, now that I think of it.  To add insult to injury all of my fitness trackers now give me credit for burning fewer calories for the same exercise on account of my advanced decrepitude. 

Anyhoo, I am now 47 years old (almost 48, according to the Matriarch).  I have been working out more than 2 and a three-quarter years now and I have lost just over 140 pounds.  Not bad for an old woman.

Looking back on the past year I recognize that this has been a tough one, what with all the job stress and unhappiness at my old firm, my job hunt, the possibility that we would have to move, and quitting my job.  It has also been a very rewarding year, with a wonderful new job, being able to stay in our apartment, doing things I never thought possible, like walking 20 miles for charity in a single day, and my wonderful partner, The Nerd, who was unflinchingly supportive through thick and thin and thinner and thicker.

Taking the long view that I am working on a lifestyle change, I am only marginally upset about being essentially in exactly the same place from a weight point of view as I was 12 months ago.  After all, on the plus side, I am not really heavier than last year, and if I am not any lighter, then I am still successfully keeping my weight loss intact.  This is a major accomplishment considering that the first time that I lost weight I started gaining back almost immediately thanks to reverting back to a sedentary lifestyle and horrible eating habits.

And although I am mathematically 47 years old (to anyone who is not my mother, at any rate), on most days I only feel like I am 36, so I'll take that as a win.  36 was a good year - - it was the year I got into law school, after all.

So here's what a year looks like: not quite 40 miles of hard road yet, I dare say.

Yes, I understand that I am giving my equivalent of the Zoolander "Blue Steel" look in each of my selfies - - I never know how to smile properly.  Deal with it.

Walking works...134.8 pounds down

It has been a while since I have posted, mostly because my routine has been quite uneventful, mostly.  The Nerd and I have continued on our training plan for the Weekend to End Women's Cancers charity walk coming up in 23 days, and I have been trying (and for the most part, succeeding) to eat well and avoid snacking. 


The net of all this activity is that I am down another 2.5 pounds since my last weigh-in, for a total of 134.8 pounds down.  This brings me back down below 200 pounds once again to 199.1 pounds.  Yay, me!  Since I have started my new job I am down 14.5 pounds, which tells you something about the health benefits of working for a major beverage manufacturer.

I am really really really trying to be patient and sensible with my program and to not get too hung up on the scale or the calendar.  Lifestyle change is supposed to cover the rest of one's life, after all, so there's no real rush to lose weight. 


For all that zen-like attitude, however, it's still very gratifying and reassuring to see that when I do the things that have worked in the past - like strong workouts and consistently eating fewer calories than I burn (including not eating back all my workout calories) - I eventually lose weight.  I am trying to be more patient with this and let my body take off the weight on its own schedule (rather than my own mental timetable), but it can be frustrating. Patience is not my strong suit.  Neither is impulse control, so you can see what I am up against here.


All in all, though, my walking workouts have been doing the trick.  On non-walking days I do weights and the elliptical, and that seems to be keeping the weight headed in the right direction.  That, and the cutting back on snacking, of course. 

Speaking of walking, the Nerd and I hit our first "official" 12.5 mile (20 km) walk last weekend.  As you might remember, the first time I tried to walk 12.5 miles (after accidentally working the training plan backwards (!)), I was in agony for the last 4.5 miles.  The following weekend when I walked 12.5 miles I was only very sore for the last mile and a half, and in agony for the last half mile - - a big improvement.  You can imagine my trepidation, though, at trying that distance against last weekend.  Would it be like the first time, or would it be more like our recent walks, tiring but manageable?

And the answer is: tiring but manageable!  What a win! 

Sunrise in the Beach, August 2014

We were walking back to those tall buildings way off in the distance...

... and actually almost pleasant.  Note that I said "almost".  It was still 3 hours and 40 minutes of walking to hit 12.5 miles, but by keeping the pace to a relatively sedate 3.5 mph I was able to get through the walk with energy to spare.  Not only that, I was able to go out shopping with my mom shortly after getting home, and had no problems wandering around the Market. 

I felt very tired after this walk, but not as tired as I expected, and aside from a little chaffing in the bra area, I made it through the walk without any physical discomfort. 

Here's all of the walks we have done so far in August:

The big red line heading out to the right is our 12.5 mile walk along Queen Street until the Neville Park streetcar turnaround, then back along the waterfront trail to the Market neighborhood.  We've also got a few of our favourite walks up and down Church Street and around the Bloor/Broadview loop overlooking the Don Valley (very pretty, if one ignores the highway, prison, and defunct strip club). 

Don't tell anyone, but I am actually quite enjoying our walking training and will miss it when we are not doing so many walks once the event is over.  Perhaps I will even keep going on walks after the charity walk, provided that I can trick the Nerd into joining me.  I probably won't do any more 12.5 mile walks, though. 

Today we had a fire drill at the office, and I had fun walking up and down 4 flights of stairs with my knapsack full of purse debris and my computer bag.  Actually, I did have fun - - it was a nice break from routine, and I had no problem going down the stairs or even back up, despite all my gear.  It's at times like this that I am reminded of how far I have come, and I cherish my increasing levels of fitness even more. 

Tomorrow is another weight + elliptical day, since we are done our walks until another 12.5 miler on Saturday.  Better rest up the old feet while I can!

159 miles down, plus a day at the races

Another week down, another 5 training walks and 26 miles in the books, for a total of 159.2 miles walked in total so far.  To put that in perspective if I walked 159 miles from Toronto I would have walked all the way to Bothwell, Ontario, a 2 and a half hour drive along the way to London.  Never heard of Bothwell, have you?  Neither have I.  But I do know that it is 159 miles from Toronto. 

All this walking is having a good effect - - I am down 2.1 pounds from last week.  This brings me back into overweight territory from obese, a huge improvement from where I re-started at the beginning of June.  I am 10.7 pounds down from my re-start, and on the way to my previous low.  Ever so slowly, of course, but that's the way these things work. 

In an interesting testament to the depression and work stress that I had been going through at my old job, my weight now, 7 weeks after recommitting to working out and eating properly, is right back to around what I was a year ago at this time. 

I can look at this in a couple of ways.  I can get all depressed about all the time I have lost and wasted over the past year just to end up in the same place that I was a year ago.  Or I can take the fact that I am fighting my way back as a positive thing.  All of my good habits that I have developed over the past couple of years, and my increasing levels of fitness are allowing me to take back control of my weight even though I let it get out of control.  I refuse to give up all the progress that I have made over the past 2 and a half years, even though I have slipped back behind some of the goals I had achieved.  And it is happening slowly, to be sure, but I am winning back those goals one by one again. 

Since I recommitted myself to working out and eating well 7 weeks ago I have broken into the light-heavyweight class, and, this week, I made it back into the overweight category (from being obese).  Next on the list is to break the 200 pound mark again, and then it will be to break 190 pounds.  From that, it will be just a hop and a skip to my previous low weight.

I know that a huge percentage of people gain the weight back within a year after they lose a large amount of weight.  I certainly did the first time I lost weight - - within a couple of years I was well on my way to my new highest weight of all time. 

This time, I like to focus on the fact that when my weight started creeping back up once my job situation resolved itself I took back control over my eating.  7 weeks in, I am feeling almost back to my old healthy self, and I love it.  It is still one day at a time, but those days get easier and easier. 

On a completely unrelated point, a couple of weekends ago the Nerd and I went to the races, which was the genesis of the hat post a couple of posts back.  Due to popular demand, here are some pictures from the event:

We were in the last row of our section, so the Very Large Hat did not block anyone's view, thank goodness.  It was very windy at the race, so the hat did go airborne once, I have to admit.  That being said, it was the perfect hat for the event, and overall we both had a great time. 

Major Life Changes and Shaking things Off

It has been a rough few months.

Photo courtesy Lucius Beebe Memorial Library, CC-BY-NC-SA

In previous blog posts I mentioned that I have been succumbing to emotional eating recently due to stress with work.  Well, the stress has finally been resolved - - I have, at long last, found a new job.  I will be leaving the private practice of law and moving in-house with a leading packaged goods company next week.  My last day at the firm is Wednesday, and my first day at the new company is Thursday.  I know, what a slacker, taking an entire 8 hours off.  (!)

It has been a tough slog - - there is nothing worse than working at a place where you no longer want to be.  Once you decide that you want to work somewhere else, you want to go there immediately.  Not to mention that job hunting is super stressful, what with all the research and preparation, emotional ups and downs, and constant rejection.  And let us not forget the joy that is sending in resumes only to have them disappear into a black hole, without ever hearing a response.

Anyways, I was finally able to hand in my notice last week, and I now only have 3 days left to work at the old place.  It seemed initially like my last two weeks would take forever, but in reality, the time has just flown by.  Which is not so good because I have a bunch of files to finish off before I go.  Ah, the joys of responsible transitioning.

The biggest challenge for me from a health and fitness perspective this past week is the fact that I have been going out to goodbye lunches with coworkers every day.  It's tough to stay on track with my food plan when exposed to the sodium festival that is food service.

As if that were not enough, I have been hit with a flu and a cold in quick succession.  I am now in the stage of coughing whenever I try and exert myself, and general constant exhaustion.  Not fun.

But things are going to get better now that I am set up for the new job.  I am really looking forward to the new challenge, and cannot wait.  Only 5 more sleeps! 

In the spirit of moving forward and renewing my focus on my fitness, I am changing my weight loss tracker to reflect the weight left to go, rather than the weight lost.  It has been too easy for me to  rest on my laurels with that big number in the "pounds lost" column.  Now with my emotional eating backsliding I am back to having 48.5 pounds left to lose.  Now I just need to go back to first principles and stick to my plan that I know works.  I still have 3 more days of goodbye lunches to get through, but I am hoping that I will feel better tomorrow so that I can get back to my workouts.

Coming back online, slowly

Photo by drinks machine, licensed CC-BY-NC-ND

Long time, no write.

For the past few months my workouts have been inconsistent (especially for me), and I have been using work stress and emotional stress as excuses to Eat All The Things.  Some days I couldn't even bring myself to log my food - - who can tell how many calories I was getting from a restaurant poutine, after all? 

That shit stops now.  Well, to be more accurate, that shit stopped this week.  I took myself in hand and started back with the intensive workouts and getting back to my healthy eating routine. 

I still need to lose weight, so adopting an easier workout routine that is more of a maintenance program (which I had rationalized as more sustainable than the hard workouts I had previously done) just doesn't make sense.  So now I am back to 90 minutes of kicking my own ass on the weights, treadmill, and elliptical, 6 days a week.  It's only day 4 of the new-and-improved world order, but it's amazing how easy it is to slip back into a healthy routine after having been so diligent at it for more than 2 years, even after a break.  In a strange way my healthy lifestyle is starting to feel more comfortable to me than the lazy ass binge eating lifestyle I used to adopt.  And only 2 and a half years later! 

Of course my complete abandonment of healthy eating has had its sequellae - - I gained back weight, and a lot of it.  Not that I look like Jabba the Hut or anything, but I have noticed that my clothing is tight, and that is just Not On.  I didn't go out and get all these new clothes just to eat my way out of them after a month, no sir. 

So how did I get here?  Simple - I gave myself permission to indulge myself, using my stress and depression about work as excuses.  Frankly, I feel much better about myself and my life when I eat well and do a hard workout, so abandoning those good habits only contributed to my feelings of depression.  And once you start feeling bad because you're eating like crap, it's ever so easy to eat more to try and feel better ... except, of course, that this never works.  The only thing that works is to fix the thing that isn't working and to stick to the good habits that I know make me healthier.

So I took control of the work situation, and I will have more news on that score in 2-4 weeks or so.  I've still got a ton of work to do on that front, but I recently received some very good news that has given me hope for the future with respect to work, which is wonderful.  I'm not out of the woods yet, but soon, hopefully. 

The Nerd and I are also working at fixing up the apartment to make it more livable.  We are both clearing out a lot of deadwood (I mean, do I really need to keep 30 years of old cards from strangers?) and we have donated a bunch of unwanted furniture to charity.  This gives us more room to move, and more room for books, to be perfectly honest.  Since "books" is kind of the decorating theme for the Palatial Estate, this works well.  As the place shapes up, my mood improves even more.  I hate living in disarray, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel with this side project as well. 

So the workouts - what's new and different and what have I learned?  I learned that 46 year old knees do not take kindly to running when I have never run before, and I have had to dial back on the C25K training I was doing.  I sort of wrecked my right knee and aggravated an old groin injury, and in the interests of my health I have changed up the running to merely walking on the treadmill at a reasonable pace.

The weights are effective, so I have not changed anything up there, other than to kick things up a notch with an additional set.  I am currently doing 4 sets of 10 for 9 different exercises, and I will likely keep things at this level for another week or so.

The elliptical is still my best calorie burner and step driver, so I now do 90 minutes on the elliptical on non-weight days.  It kicks my ass every time, but it's totally worth it.  On weight days I do 10 minutes on the treadmill and 35 minutes on the elliptical for a total workout of about 90 minutes, and it feels good. 

No more light workouts for the time being - - they are fine for maintenance, which will be wonderful when I reach my goal.  That's a loooonnnngggg way in the future, however.  For now I need to suck it up, buttercup, and focus on bringing on the sweat 6 days a week for 90 minutes each morning.  So that's what I will do.

As for the food, it's back to first principles.  No more illicit snacking.  No more donuts, unlogged chocolate or cupcakes, no more poutine or grilled cheese, no more nachos or rice krispie square bars.  What do I eat?  The Nerd's delicious cooking, of course, with his balanced and nutritious meals.  I am trying to keep my daily calories under 1,700-1,800, and although I don't succeed every day, it's something to shoot for.  I know that this calorie target gives me enough room to eat enough delicious food to be satisfied, but not so much food that I risk going over the edge again.

I know that eating sensibly, working out to challenge myself, and avoiding snacking results in weight loss, and soon I will be back in my old weight neighbourhood.  I have lost some ground, but I will be back again.  I'm stubborn that way. 

Achievement unlocked - down to my lowest weight in years!

As you know, the fall of 2013 was a difficult one for me, and my snacking (and eating habits generally) took me completely off the rails.  I had reached a low of 188.5 pounds back in September and then got complacent and thought I could eat anything I wanted.  Surprise, surprise, this was not the case (as if I even thought this could be the case.  But I got really complacent, which has much the same result).  I ballooned up to 199 pounds (and at times even higher, I know, although I was down to 199 by the time I stepped on the scale again).

I finally put my foot down right before Christmas, and got back on the program of healthy eating in sensible portions, and stepped up my exercise routine by re-integrating weights and adding the treadmill for walking and a C25K program. Sure, it was a tough time to start a re-invigorated workout program, but I figured if I could stick with it over the holidays, everything that followed would be a piece of cake. Not that I planned on eating cake... or not much.

The results have been positive.  I have started losing weight again, and lots of it.  This week was no exception - - I lost 2.3 pounds, bringing me down to 188.1 pounds.  That's right, lower than my previous lowest weight! (does a little dance)  I am now back to breaking new trail in this weight loss adventure of mine, as it has been more than a decade since I was last at my current weight.  I am no longer simply trying to re-lose weight that I already lost, I am losing weight that I have been carrying around for years.  I am down 145.8 pounds overall, and that feels good.  Really good, actually.

You can see my Q4 disaster in the above chart - - I went from a pretty nice linear downward slope to a pretty wicked 4 month plateau / slight increase.  It is only with 5 weeks of consistent working out and eating well that I have resumed my regular weight loss, bringing me finally back to where I was when everything went off the rails - - and a bit lower, besides.

I still have a ways to go to hit my goal:

...but the trend is once again positive.

 In terms of those pesky goals, I am getting very close to my next goal, 185 pounds (or middleweight) - - I might get there in 2 or 3 more weeks!  And I am less than 20 pounds away from achieving one major goal, normal BMI.  That may be reachable in around 3 months, if I'm lucky.  I am going to have to think about how to celebrate that huge win - - celebrate in a way that does not involve consuming my body weight in cupcakes, that is.

I re-started C25K this week with proper running, and I have done the first two sessions bringing me up to 8 minutes of actual running time in 1 minute intervals.  It is definitely more challenging to run without hanging onto the treadmill for dear life, but I am really pleased to have re-started the program the right way.  My knees are in a constant state of twinge-iness, but not painful as such, so I don't think I need to change anything up right now.  Tomorrow morning will be another C25K morning to wrap up week 1 (again) if all goes as planned.

Coming up next week is the 2-year anniversary of my working out and getting serious about my health and fitness.  That would make it around 2 years ago now that I broke that chair.  It's interesting what gets us started on these life-changing journeys.  In my case, it was a cheap IKEA chair.  But without that chair I would not have had the motivation to keep pushing myself at the beginning, when it was painful just to walk to the corner, and even staying on the recumbent bike for 5 minutes was agony.

But that's a recap for next week.  For now, I am just trying to stay the course and keep focused on working my plan.  I think I will switch up the weights to 4 sets of 10 reps next week, as the 3 sets of 15 reps are challenging, but a little too readily do-able.  The rebooted C25K will continue, as will the endless hours on the elliptical (thank god for books on my iPad!).

Week 103 - 142.9 pounds down

Week 103 of working out is in the books, and I lost another 1.8 pounds, for a total of 142.9 pounds down overall.  Yes, that's quite the hockey stick I have going in my graph, but it's coming back down now, with effort. 

The net of my little Q4 snackfest is that my goal timing has been pushed out from the end of January to the end of May.  But that's OK, because I am back on track, eating well, and keeping up my exercise.

Speaking of which, C25K was a bit challenging this week because I had sore knees for the first time this week - - sore enough to make me take a time out on the running for 2 of the planned run days.  This is making me reconsider the way I have been running.  I know I can run like a normal person for short stretches of time, and it is easier in many ways to run normally than to run hanging onto the elliptical.  I may try re-starting the C25K program from the beginning, but running normally from the outset, and see how that works. 

With this week down, I am only 6 pounds away from hitting middleweight - - getting close now!  And just over 22 pounds to go to normal BMI.  I can't wait. 

Chugging along - 139 pounds down... again

This week was a good week so far as sticking to my program went.  I have finished week 2 - or should I say, I have survived week 2 - of my C25K program, and I did weights 3x this week focusing on my upper body.  Gotta keep those sculpted arms, after all.

My eating was under control, too.  Not a lot of snacking, and no "off the record" meals or treats.  What I ate, I logged.  The snacking was much better this week than before Christmas, and last night when I caught myself trying to rationalize a scoop of peanut butter before bed, I just went to bed instead of snacking.  So far, so good, in other words.

My cholesterol and A1C numbers were solidly green when I tested them this month, too.  I have had generally normal fasting blood sugar numbers for months now, but in December I was seeing a few slightly elevated numbers creep in there, likely due to the complete deviation from my normal workout routines and eating habits.  Since I have been back on track, however, the blood sugar numbers have been solidly normal, and that is reflected in my normal A1C numbers.  Whew!   

And the result of all this hard work?  I have achieved the impossible, and turned back time to the end of August.  That's right, I weighed in at 194.9 pounds this morning, down 2.5 pounds from last week at this time.  The last time I weighed this was at the end of August, before the wheels fell off.  That's 4 entire lost months down the drain.  In other words, instead of hitting my weight loss goal in January, I will be lucky to make it in May or June. 

But you know what?  That's OK.  I am happy with the progress I have made so far, and I am very happy with the results of all my hard work.  Am I disappointed that I have given up some of those hard-fought losses?  Sure I am.  Will I let that stop me from working my plan and trying to get back to where I was, and move on from there?  No way.  I have come too far.  And let's be honest, 139 pounds lost is nothing to sneeze at.  That's still a full person, and I am going to celebrate that victory for what it is. 



With that spirit, here's a recent photo in the sparkle dress:

And here's a photo of the Nerd and I looking fabulous (taken New Year's Day 2014):

Lets compare to September 2003:

Or July 2007:

Yep, I would say that the Nerd and I are looking pretty fly this year.  Even with giving back a little bit of ground in the weight loss department. 

With this week's 2.5 pound loss (1.4 pounds down from New Year's Eve alone), I am less than 10 pounds away from being a Middleweight, and less than 30 pounds away from my goal weight.  If I continue on my 1.5 pound a week average, I will now reach my target sometime around the end of May or early June.  Just in time for summer bathing suit weather again!  Bring it on!