|Photo courtesy Gillian Chicago, licensed CC-BY-NC-ND|
My old clothing archive (from the days when I was increasing in size) held only two skirt suits in my current size (20), which means that I have only 2 suits that actually fit me right now.
My favourite navy flannel blazer? 2 sizes too big. My green tweed looking blazer? 1 size too big. My black wool suits? 2 sizes too big, with floppy shoulders that make the sleeves droop low on my hands and make me look like I am wearing my daddy's suit. As for the suit pants, I can pull them on and off without undoing the buttons - not a good thing. Same problem for my favourite tulip skirt (2 sizes too large) - - one strong wind, and that thing is falling off. Only friction is keeping it up at this point.
The reality is that as a tight ass lawyer, I need to wear suits 4 days a week (thank god for business casual on Fridays!). With only 2 suits that actually fit, I look frumpy and unpolished the rest of the week. Even Fridays are problematic, because I usually adopt the "lawyer casual" look - - blue jeans, a sweater, and a blazer. Except that all my blazers are far too big. Once again it looks like I stole my daddy's jacket.
I think it's time for me to bite the bullet and buy some new clothes. I just don't think I can keep wearing my current line-up of clothes until I drop yet another size and can see what's in the clothing archive at size 18. Who knows when that will happen? I look messy and frumpy now. I can't keep dressing like this for the additional month or two that it will take me to reach my next stash of clothes.
Why haven't I gotten new clothes already? The fact is that I hate clothes shopping. I hate clothes shopping with the burning passion of a thousand white hot suns. I am lucky in that I am a pretty typical size at whatever size I am, so I can usually buy clothes right off the rack - - no alterations required. It's just the whole crowds, malls, pushy salespeople, poor lighting, crappy store experience - - it's all something I can do without. I usually prefer to buy clothes on-line, but the disadvantage there is that you can't try stuff on on-line, and with my current weight loss, who really knows what size I should be wearing?
Even worse for me, I look frumpy right now in my baggy big girl clothes, and feeling frumpy is now how you want to go clothes shopping.
Sigh. I will need to get over myself and just buy some damn clothes already because my current wardrobe is actually making me look bigger than I am, it's so voluminous. The effect is kind of like shaving a persian cat - - massive before, tiny thing after. OK, so I'm not tiny, but the suits 2 sizes too big are giving people the visual impression that I am a much larger person than I really am, or that I have had some sudden and wasting illness.
I have had a history of preferring larger clothing because it serves as camouflage, and keeps the focus off my (glaringly imperfect) body. But I think the time is coming where I need to take a baby step and get some clothes that fit. It's just getting too potentially embarrassing to keep wearing these droopy old things.
This happens to everyone who loses a significant amount of weight - - at some point we have to fish or cut bait, and buy new clothes that are more size-appropriate. I just wish the process were a bit more fun...!