That awkward frumpiness that comes with weight loss

Photo courtesy Gillian Chicago, licensed CC-BY-NC-ND

So it appears that I am going through an awkward phase.  I have lost 90 pounds and more than 33 inches off various parts of my body, with the result that all my "fat girl" clothes are fitting more like clown pants.  Clown pants that are dangerously close to falling off, as it happens. 

My old clothing archive (from the days when I was increasing in size) held only two skirt suits in my current size (20), which means that I have only 2 suits that actually fit me right now. 

My favourite navy flannel blazer?  2 sizes too big.  My green tweed looking blazer?  1 size too big.   My black wool suits?  2 sizes too big, with floppy shoulders that make the sleeves droop low on my hands and make me look like I am wearing my daddy's suit.   As for the suit pants, I can pull them  on and off without undoing the buttons - not a good thing.  Same problem for my favourite tulip skirt (2 sizes too large) - - one strong wind, and that thing is falling off.  Only friction is keeping it up at this point.


The reality is that as a tight ass lawyer, I need to wear suits 4 days a week (thank god for business casual on Fridays!).  With only 2 suits that actually fit, I look frumpy and unpolished the rest of the week.  Even Fridays are problematic, because I usually adopt the "lawyer casual" look - - blue jeans, a sweater, and a blazer.  Except that all my blazers are far too big.  Once again it looks like I stole my daddy's jacket.

I think it's time for me to bite the bullet and buy some new clothes.  I just don't think I can keep wearing my current line-up of clothes until I drop yet another size and can see what's in the clothing archive at size 18.  Who knows when that will happen?  I look messy and frumpy now.  I can't keep dressing like this for the additional month or two that it will take me to reach my next stash of clothes. 

Why haven't I gotten new clothes already?  The fact is that I hate clothes shopping.  I hate clothes shopping with the burning passion of a thousand white hot suns.  I am lucky in that I am a pretty typical size at whatever size I am, so I can usually buy clothes right off the rack - - no alterations required.  It's just the whole crowds, malls, pushy salespeople, poor lighting, crappy store experience - - it's all something I can do without.  I usually prefer to buy clothes on-line, but the disadvantage there is that you can't try stuff on on-line, and with my current weight loss, who really knows what size I should be wearing?

Even worse for me, I look frumpy right now in my baggy big girl clothes, and feeling frumpy is now how you want to go clothes shopping. 

Sigh.  I will need to get over myself and just buy some damn clothes already because my current wardrobe is actually making me look bigger than I am, it's so voluminous.  The effect is kind of like shaving a persian cat - - massive before, tiny thing after.  OK, so I'm not tiny, but the suits 2 sizes too big are giving people the visual impression that I am a much larger person than I really am, or that I have had some sudden and wasting illness.  

I have had a history of preferring larger clothing because it serves as camouflage, and keeps the focus off my (glaringly imperfect) body.  But I think the time is coming where I need to take a baby step and get some clothes that fit.  It's just getting too potentially embarrassing to keep wearing these droopy old things. 

This happens to everyone who loses a significant amount of weight - - at some point we have to fish or cut bait, and buy new clothes that are more size-appropriate.  I just wish the process were a bit more fun...!